Greetings blogosphere! Welcome to the Christmas season! After some investigating, apparently blogmas is a thing. So, yay! Anyway, it's supposedly 'traditional' (because apparently blogs are traditional now) to do a Christmas themed blog post every day of December. But no, that was too mainstream (and too much effort), so I've decided to do the 12 days of blogmas, which are basically going to be the 12 days leading up to Christmas. Excitement! But don't worry, for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas or just can't be bothered reading about it for 12 days, I'll also be posting some non-Christmassy posts (which yes, means two posts in one day!) to shake things up a bit. This is officially the first entry of blogmas, where from the title you can probably guess I will be listing some super weird Christmas presents. Here we go . . .
Moustache PacifierDon’t know what to get your baby this Christmas? Problem solved! Until it can grow facial hair of its’ own, this moustache pacifier should tide it over. Let’s get real though, this is seriously creepy. Yes, I’m aware of the recent moustache craze taking over the teen world, but do we really need to bring the babies into this? It’s weird. It’s really super weird.
My Zombie Family Car StickersYou know those super annoying 'My Family' stickers that everyone has on the back of their cars (and yeah, I'll admit I have them too, and sort of love them)? Yeah, well apparently, they're just not good enough. Now, everyone can have 'My Zombie Family' stickers stuck to their car's back window. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Sure, they'd be kinda cool for Halloween. But all year round? That seems a bit too Addams Family-ish for me. Just think, would Santa approve?
Crime Scene Sticky TapeEver wanted to set up a mini crime scene in your own home on Christmas morning? Yeah, neither have I. But for those of you who are really into all that mystery murder stuff, this is the present for you. Whip out your barbies and re-enact an episode of NCIS, or just creep people out when you're wrapping their birthday presents, the possibilities are endless! You're gonna have a merry Christmas this year!
Batman OnesieHave ordinary onesies become too mainstream for you? Do you long for some cool superhero merchandise? Well this is your lucky day! The Batman Onesie can be yours this Christmas! Is it super weird and nerdy? Yes, yes it is. But in the grand scheme of weird Christmas presents, this one isn't so bad. It seems like something someone from 'The Big Bang Theory' would die for.
Injured Gingerbread Cookie CuttersOnce again, it seems that this Christmas present has taken a turn for the morbid. To go along with those awesome My Zombie Family car stickers, here are some cut outs depicting injured gingerbread men that will look great in this year's batch of Christmas cookies. Who doesn't want depressing imagery in their Christmas lunch? But seriously, these little guys are super creepy and depressing. I like to associate gingerbread men with the nice little one from Shrek, all shy with properly working arms and legs. I don't really like to think about them all injured and limbless (even though that's what they look like as soon as we take a bite out of them, but whatever).
Sudoku Toilet PaperEver thought, 'wow, I'm wasting so much time weeing when I could be sharpening my Maths skills'? Well you know what, now you don't have to let your education slip over the Christmas break. Problem solve while you pee! Though seriously, I don't even get how this works. Why would you bother going through all the trouble of solving the stupid thing when you're just going to wipe your pee (or poo, let's not be exclusive) on it a minute later. I guess if I had actually used the Sudoku toilet paper and enhanced my logic skills I would understand the point of the thing.
So that's it. A super weird array of Christmas presents. When you receive your random pair of socks from that distant relative this year, just think of some of these, and count yourself lucky. Happy Blogmas! Til' next time . . .