Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Illegal Baby Names

Hello and welcome back readers! Don't worry, the gif above isn't directed at you (yet), but rather the people who have decided to give their children really stupid and illegal names (which brings me to today's topic). As you've probably guessed, the topic is those parents whose childrens' names have been so horrendous, they are now against the law. Now that's all sorted, let's begin . . .

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

This may seem ridiculous, but believe it or not, someone actually named their child this. And personally, what I find even more ridiculous, is that she was stuck with the name for 9 years. 9 years! I mean it's an absurd name, but it may be a little harsh making it totally illegal. That would suck, having to go back to school and awkwardly explain to everyone that you've got a new name because your parents are idiots. Oh well, better late than never I guess.


I know what you're thinking, and no, I haven't just gone into a fit of rage and started bashing the keyboard. This was an actual name given to a child in Sweden. But here's the kicker. Turns out, it was pronounced 'Albin'. Calling a child Albin is cruel enough, but making it 43 characters? How is anyone supposed to live with that?!? I couldn't even spell my 11 character last name until year 3! Apparently, the child's parents wanted to prove a point to the Swedish government about how tough they are on name restrictions. If this is what people name their kids, maybe they aren't being too harsh!

Chow Tow

You may be thinking, why would anyone ban a perfectly nice sounding asian name? Wrong. Turns out, Chow Tow translates to 'Smelly Head'. And yes, someone in Malaysia named their kid Smelly Head. While sober. I actually can't understand at all why someone would put their child through that. Yeah, laughing at the expense of others can be fun, but not when they're related to you. I'm pretty sure that violates some kind of family code of ethics. If that were me, I'd be chucking my parents in an elderly home asap.


I didn't know that punctuation could  name, but apparently, it used to be (of course before it became illegal). In China, some parents thought it would be great to give their child a unique name, and settled on the at sign. Why? No logical person knows. Some have said that it looks like the Chinese symbol for 'love him'. You may be thinking 'aww, how sweet'- well don't. Who would call their child Love Him in the first place? That's just really weird and needy. Personally, the at sign made more sense. As you have probably guessed, this name didn't really fly well with the Chinese government, because apparently it would act as an example to all citizens (can't have too much free will, now can we).


Again, another misleading name. Again, another awful translation. This time, it turns out that Akuma translates to 'devil'. Obviously not the most religious people, this is what  a couple named their kid in Japan. Sure, children suck, but actually naming them devil? Probably going a bit far. The Japanese authorities seemed to think so too, because they accused the parents of violating their kids' rights and caused a lengthy court battle.

So there you go. Some of the weird names that you never thought existed, that have turned out to be illegal. Whoo! Hope this has entertained and informed you in some way, or that it wasn't a total waste of time. That's about it. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

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