Hello again my readers! Welcome to my round-up of one of the biggest nights in movie history, the one, the only (except for the other 85 of them), the Academy Awards! Who's excited? And to top everything off, it is being hosted by the legendary Ellen Degeneres, so we already know it can be nothing but awesome! Stick around to see what went down . . .
Best and Worst Dressed
The time has come again to judge the fashion of some of Hollywood's starlets on the night of nights. Did they deliver? Did they fail miserably? You'll have to read on an see.
Not only did she (spoiler alert) win an Oscar tonight, she also won herself a spot on my best dressed list (an equal honour). I seriously think she looked super awesome. It was cute, it was pretty, it was princess like, that's Oscars material right there. I think they were probably unsure of who would win best actress before the event, but then she rocked up on the red carpet and they just gave it to her, hands down (or she's just mega talented, either one). Good job Cate, loving your work.
This girl is seriously on the biggest roll ever. She can actually do no wrong. Every single time her feet hit that red carpet, her outfits are all massive hits. That's hard to do, but this time, she's done it again. That blue is seriously one of the nicest colours ever. I even love the headband (because headbands are cool). She looks like what the little mermaid would look like if she was nominated for an Oscar (and you know, not super white). Loving it!
She might've fallen over (if you're confused, read on), but she certainly looked awesome while doing it. This is Hollywood, right here. It's certainly an achievement when your dress is more red than the red carpet. She just looks super duper amazeballs. It's classy, it's elegant and it's vibrant. A combination that can never disappoint. Go J-Law!
No doubt about it, Sandra is looking amazeballs. She may play someone who has been trapped inside a space shuttle and suffered from all kinds of trauma, but she doesn't dress like that at all (thankfully, because that would be weird). The colour is awesome, the style is great, I just love everything about it. It's very elegant and Oscars appropriate. Overall, an awesome ensemble.
There have been some mixed reviews about this one. Some people swear that it's hideous and shouldn't have ever been created, and then there are other (correct) people like me who think she looks super awesome. It's Lady Gaga, of course it's going to be something quirky. I actually think this is surprisingly elegant though. I don't even mind the pink scarf, she rocks it. She's not even nominated and she's made it onto my best dressed list! Got to love the Gaga.
Oh Anna, why? There's nothing wrong in particular I guess with this dress, but all together, it just looks like one super weird contraption. The little break in the middle looks super weird, and why are there random flower patterns? Also, it's not a one shoulder dress, so why does it try to mimic one (especially considering they're awful)? This dress certainly isn't pitch perfect.
I don't know who this is at all, but I do know that she looks awkward and weird. Number one, were you visually impaired when you decided to put that on? Number two, if you're going to the Oscars, why decide to start dressing like a Dr Seuss character? Seriously! She looks like she belongs in Suessville, it's ridiculous. The two colour thing just isn't working, and why she has a bit of cardboard over her chest I do not know. This is like some weird scientific experiment that I can't be bothered to solve.
No, just no. I'm sorry Glenn, but this is really awful. What is it with celebrities and their tendency to dress themselves in body bags? This looks like something that belongs at a morgue (a really depressing morgue at that). The top half looks like a scuba suit, and the bottom half looks like an emo mermaid's tail. This dress shouldn't exist, and has officially earned its place on the worst dressed list.
Liza, what are you doing? Is this a weird gathered dress, is it a pant suit? I just don't know! Whatever it is, it's plain awful. It's just a shimmering blue sack, and it makes her look like she's wrapped in the skin of a whale (which is never a good thing, just ask PETA). I know that she's Liza Minnelli and can do what she likes, but this is just a no no. Better luck next time.
I don't know what I specifically hate about this dress, but I know I hate something. It legitimately looks like an oddly shaped dress a conservative, gothic dominatrix would slap on (and not in a good way). Why Julia, why? It's just weird and very black, and doesn't look flattering in the least. The bottom half just hangs there, what's with that? It's just a massive no.
The Actual Award Show
To begin the show, all the legendary Ellen Degeneres had to do was make her way on stage and the crowd was already super pumped. But then again, why wouldn't you be? It's the Oscars! And it's Ellen Degeneres! As expected, she nailed it. Right off the bat, she basically said that Americans are one of the many sufferers of first world problems, saying "For those of you watching at home, it's been a tough couple of days - it has been raining in L.A. We're fine. Thank you for your prayers". But oh no, it gets better. Actors were called people without love, friendship and family, June Squibb (being the oldest nominee) was talked at like a hearing impaired elderly person, and Liza Minnelli was accused of being a male drag impersonator.
She also pretty much accused the Academy of possibly being racist, which is always good. Plus, she managed to take a selfie during the live performance, onstage, in front of the world. I think that is an achievement in itself.
And the Winners are . . .
12 Years A Slave
- Best Picture
- Best Director, 'Gravity'
- Best Actress, 'Blue Jasmine'
- Best Actor, 'Dallas Buyers Club'
- Best Supporting Actor, 'Dallas Buyers Club'
- Best Supporting Actress, '12 Years A Slave'
- Best Cinematography, Emmanuel Lubezki
- Best Film Editing
- Best Visual Effets
- Best Sound Mixing
- Best Sound Editing
The Great Gatsby
- Best Production Design
- Best Costume Design
- Best Original Screenplay
Dallas Buyers Club
- Best Makeup and Hairstyling
- Best Short Film (Animated)
- Best Original Song, 'Let It Go'
- Best Animated Feature Film
- Best Short Film (Live Action)
The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
- Best Documentary Short Subject
20 Feet from Stardom
- Best Documentary Feature
The Great Beauty
- Best Foreign Language Film
Now, for my opinion. Did I agree with all of the results? Pretty much, yeah. I'm super happy that 'Frozen' won, that movie has seriously been super successful. I thought it was just me who loved it, but obviously it's a universal obsession. Now I can build a snowman with the world, no questions asked! I have to say, I find it pretty funny that Leonardo DiCaprio still hasn't won an Oscar. I think the Academy is playing some kind of prank on him. I'm not particularly upset that he didn't win or anything, but the man seriously has bad luck. At least it's inspired some new gifs like this one:
Don't you just love tumblr?
The first musical performance of the night, Pharrell Williams came on swinging, singing his infectious hit from 'Despicable Me 2' (aka, one of the best movies ever) 'Happy'. I actually didn't even listen to the singing (which is a first for me- the most judgemental person ever), the performance was just so entertaining. It had a little slideshow in the background of dancing minions, which let's face it, is the best thing ever, and he got all these kids on stage dancing with him, and I don't just mean bopping around randomly in a corner, I mean full on dancing. And then he just started weaving in and out of the star studded crowd like a pro, and it was all just super cool. Also, you can't help it, the song seriously just makes you happy (oh how aptly named it was).
Karen O (and some random other dude)
I have no idea who she is, but I thought this was a nice, chilled, relatively low key performance. It was just her and a random dude with a guitar performing 'The Moon Song' from the nominated movie 'Her'. When I say it was low key, I mean it was seriously low key (she took her shoes off, that's when you know it's serious). Also, what was nice about it was that it was short and sweet. You know those performances that feel like they go for your entire life, and they just continue to suck and suck until you get all homicidal? This wasn't one of those (thank god). They both had rather quirky voices which were kinda cool and definitely fit the song, so that was good. All in all, it was pretty cool.
Performing their song 'Ordinary Love' from 'Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom' was U2. I have to say, I wasn't wowed or anything. I mean it was good (as in, in tune), but it was kind of boring. I'm not the biggest U2 fan (or even a fan in the slightest), so I guess I'm kind of the wrong person to ask. I don't know, but there's just something about Bono's voice that annoys me. It kind of sounds like he's whining to some sort of melody, not actually singing. Also, it got super boring after a while. It just kept going and going. You know the homicidal tendencies that I was talking about before? They were getting pretty close. Also, to top it all off, I don't even like the song. It's just long and boring, and a waste of life.
In a little celebration of the work of the late Judy Garland, Pink delivered a seriously awesome, modernised performance of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. Sometimes people try and be all modern with old classics and it just seriously doesn't work, but this certainly did. Behind all the poppy stuff that Pink does all the time is seriously an awesome voice. It was just super awesome, that's all I can say. It was also nice that they had clips from 'The Wizard of Oz' in the background, it was a nice touch. It wasn't just me that thought she delivered with her performance, it was absolutely everyone else in the audience as well, so much so that she received a massive standing O (Liza Minnelli included, now that's an achievement).
It's always a hard gig being the post in memoriam performer, all the depression and what not. But I have to say, I think Bette did a pretty good job. Having performed 'Wind Beneath my Wings', at least she had the fact that it was a 'Beaches' classic on her side. It was nice, and it was sad. That's pretty much all you can ask for in a memorial performance. So yeah, the song's a bit overused and sappy, but she rocked it.
This is officially my favourite performance of the night! And no, that is totally not biased. I mean first off, it's Idina Menzel, so I knew it was already going to be spectacularly awesome. To make it even better she performed the perfection that is 'Let It Go' from 'Frozen'. It was actually no joke, one of the best things ever. Live 'Frozen'! It doesn't get any better than that. Life is great right now. I'm actually so excited I've forgotten how to form sentences. Abinofmpwrdnka.
As I tend to do, I like to take all of the attention away from the Oscars and place it on myself (because that's just how I roll). What's the best way to do this? Give out your own awards at the same time, obviously. So low and behold, my awards for some of the stuff that went down at the Oscars 2014.
Best Mid-Show Groove: Meryl Streep and Pharrell Williams. It seemed that Meryl also super enjoyed Pharell's performance of 'Happy', so much so that she decided to join him and have a little groove of her own.
Biggest Celebrity Pizza Party: Obviously, this one goes to Ellen, who being the legendary host she is, organised for pizza to be delivered to the Academy Awards. That pizza guy must've been so stoked.
Most Outrageous Mispronunciation: John Travolta, hands down. It seriously is a majorly awkward moment when you mispronounce broadway legend, singer and actress Idina Menzel's name. And not even just slightly, majorly.
See, I didn't lie.
Best Glinda Impersonation: Could it really be anyone else but Ellen? I think not. After the 'The Wizard of Oz' tribute, Ellen brought it upon herself to honour the legendary movie.
Best Photo-bomb: Not even in his own country, this one goes to Benedict Cumberbatch. Who can photo bomb U2 and get away with it? This guy can.
Best Mid-Show Selfie: Although this was one of many mid-show selflies, the one below will have to take the cake. It's got pretty much every celebrity ever involved in it, plus it actually legitimately broke twitter. No, I'm not lying. Twitter seriously crashed because the photo was getting so many retweets, now officially making it the most retweeted tweet ever, how cool is that?
Most Facially Expressive Celebrity: Not so surprisingly, this one goes to Jim Carey. He was legitimately on the stage for less than two minutes, and he still managed to pull these:
Best Money Maker: This one once again goes to host Ellen. What better place to hunt for money than a room jam packed with rich celebrities, am I right?
Most Spectacular Fall: Jennifer Lawrence. It seems she's made this an annual thing after her legendary fall up the stairs as she went up to receive her best actress Oscar last year. This time, she didn't even wait for the ceremony and decided to spectacularly fall on the red carpet.
Yay! You've now officially read everything worthwhile there is to know about the 2014 Academy Awards! Now that the night of the year has come to an end, what next? Don't worry, awards season isn't over yet, there's plenty more to go. Til' next time . . .