Greetings Blogosphere! Happy (delayed) Valentine's Day everyone! I don't mean to bring all you lovebirds down (kidding, I actually totally do), but I think Valentine's Day is a weird, redundant holiday. I know how it seems, anyone ever who says anything bad about Valentine's Day is obviously just sad and bitter, but believe it or not, this isn't actually the case. I have every other day of the year to be like that, why February 14th in particular? I much prefer the concept of 'desperation day':
But maybe that's just me. Anyway, I thought I'd do a little themed blog post (better late than never) ranking some of the weirdest Valentine's Day cards ever made. Pleasantries over and done with, here we go . . .
First off, you just have to love the Spongebob theme. I mean seriously, doesn't it just scream romance? Who would've come up with the idea to make a Spongebob themed Valentine's Day card? I have to give them props for that. I've always thought that Patrick starfish had a certain finesse about him, a wordsmith in his own right, and doesn't this just prove it. An excellent quote, an inspirational message, that right there ladies and gentlemen is art at its finest. It's just beautiful. What more can I say? A truly quality card.
I have to say, I am a major fan of this card. You've got to love its brutal honesty. For once, it addresses the elephant in the room. Seriously, what is with the nude baby with wings? How is that romantic? Cupid is seriously one messed up dude. Babies have no jurisdiction on Valentine's Day (or you know, any other day really). Also another thing, what's a baby even doing with a bow and arrow? That's just a tad dangerous, don't you think? I bet that violates some significant child protection laws. This card doesn't only bring some realism to Valentine's Day, it also happens to be a secret campaign for the rights of children, talk about the best of both worlds (suck on that Hannah Montana).
Well isn't this just charming? I say that if you can't call someone a complete idiot on Valentine's Day, there's something wrong with the world. Seriously though, I'm not even a fan of batman and I still find this pretty awesome. Sure, it's not exactly romantic, but it's sends a message (a super offensive message). Let me just say, if I were to receive this, I'd be pretty excited (let's face it, you would be to, it's pretty cool).
If you think about it, this is the biggest compliment you can ever give a person. This is actually a super nice card. We all know Kanye loves Kanye even more than he loves jumping up onstage and interrupting people's acceptance speeches (which is a reason I will forever respect him- Taylor Swift should never be allowed to speak, ever). So this is just a really nice message. Yeah, it's hidden underneath Kanye West, but if you look hard enough, you'll find the flattering remark somewhere there.
Isn't this just beautiful? Even as a proud vegetarian, I can totally support this. What else screams romance? Chicken wings just say it all. Trying to work out how to confess your love for someone? No problem, stop by KFC on the way home and get a romantic bucket of popcorn chicken for two. And you have to give the card credit, it is indeed true that you can't spell wingman without wing, so at least it's got linguistics on its side.
It seems that you've now reached the end of my super short, super random semi anti Valentine's Day post.
Now go enjoy the rest of your lives. Til' next time . . .