Greeting readers! Because I'm feeling super mean and judgemental today (which you know, is pretty much me everyday), I've decided to pinpoint some of the human qualities which I find severely annoying and off-putting. To be honest, I have a lot of problems with irritating people, so condensing this list is going to be pretty difficult. Hopefully none of these will apply to you (because if they do, I've just lost a whole lot of my audience). Let's get into it . . .
The inability to understand sarcasm
Some people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, to which I say I agree, sarcastically. I think quite frankly that sarcasm is pretty awesome. Of course you have to master tone and execution, but that just comes with practice. I like to think that I've become quite good at achieving the art of sarcasm if I do say so myself, but that doesn't mean everyone responds to it well. You know when you're just whipping out your extreme sarcasm and people are all 'are you serious?'. No, I am most definitely not serious! I honestly don't even know how to deal with those people. Do I have to alter my speech and speak literally constantly? I actually don't know how I would survive. Maybe I should just throw a TBBT and hold up a sarcasm sign.
Taking things and Never Returning them
Being an only child, you'd think I have some weird, massive aversion to sharing, but no, I do quite a bit of lending. A few pens, some USB's with an abundance of downloads, just the usual. Sure, I'm willing to let people have them for a short period of time, but forever? Now that's just a bit extreme. You know those people who take things and never give them back? That right there is one sucky human. Pens I don't care about that much, but USB's? That's just downright stealing. They contain a lot of gigage (and yes, that's the accurate term) and depending on the size can be quite expensive. Also, how am I supposed to spread the downloads around if one selfish human just steals them? It disturbs the cycle. Being the awkward person that I am, it's not easy for me to ask for them back. Of course, I seriously do want them returned, but you can't just walk up to someone and be all 'I demand you return my property', because that's really lame. It's a fine line that I'm really not prepared to walk. Plus, it's just really annoying.
Forcing you to be involved
This one's a biggie for me. Sure this can mainly apply to teachers, but you've always got the occasional student pressuring you into joining a team or to put yourself out there. With me, it's sport. Being one of the least athletic people on the planet, let's just say PE and I don't really get along very well. Every lesson, I pretty much just aim to blend in as much as possible and ideally avoid any contact with the ball. I'm the kind of person that will bolt in the other direction if the ball comes towards them, and quite frankly, I'm happy with that. Surprisingly, most teachers just go along with my sporting inability and that's that. Students however? That's a different ball game (sporting pun!). You always get those random few who are all 'come on, participate, we're just going to keep chucking the ball at you so you'll play'. When will people understand that I seriously just want to do nothing? I'm not exactly being subtle about it.
Randomly Showing Off
I'm all for singing and dancing and acting and all that kinda stuff (obviously), but when people start parading it around? That's when my anger starts coming into play. It's all well and good to be talented, good for you, but seriously, don't start randomly singing full out (unless of course you're trying to start a musical number, in which case I'm all for it and will definitely join in). What really annoys me is when people start to feign ignorance and are all like 'what, I didn't know you were listening'. How could I not be listening, you're singing super loudly in a public place?!? And then there are those people who will just start whipping out some fan kicks and pirouettes and are all 'look at me, I can turn'. Well that's great for them, but maybe save it for the stage. It doesn't just apply for the performing arts, it's legitimately any talent that people have that they decide to display publicly and very arrogantly. So much anger, so much annoyance.
People who are overly emotional about everything
No, don't worry, I'm not a totally callous person, I do feel emotion over some things, but you know those people who are weirdly temperamental and have problems with keeping their emotion in check? They ignite my burning hatred. What really gets to me is when people feel the need to tell you all of their little qualms. Seriously though, I'm not a counsellor, I have no time for your problems! What makes it doubly annoying is if you hardly know this person, and then randomly they start freaking out over something stupid. Here's a tip for life, get over it! Or you know (and I mean this in the nicest way possible), find someone who cares. Next time you'd like to throw a massive, theatrical pity party, please don't send me an invitation.
So that's now the end of my little ranty blog post about society. If any of these traits apply to you, I guess I'm sorry about that.
Hopefully you've found this post vaguely entertaining and not too offensive. Even if you did find it super judgemental, let's hope it was in a way that makes you want to read more and not vibrate with anger. Til' next time . . .