Hello again blogosphere! Excitingly, today marks the 2014 MTV Movie Awards, which are always pretty awesome. They tend to be more entertaining than your standard, drawn-out award show (which I still love), so that's a bonus. And once again, I'll be blogging live as I watch it, so who knows what will happen? Things could get super cray pretty soon. I guess you'll just have to wait and see . . .
Best and Worst Dressed
The time has come again for me to become majorly judgemental (but let's face it, when am I not?). Saving the worst for last, let's start with the people on my best dressed list.
Sure, I'm not the biggest fan of 'Shake It Up' (or a fan of it at all by any stretch of the imagination), nor do I like anything that Disney Channel's been pumping out for about the last 5 years, but I have to say, Bella Thorne looks pretty awesome. She's wearing Versace, so you know, you'd hope it was nice, but I seriously love this. The colour's awesome, and the style of it's a bit different, which I have to say most definitely works well.
I know, I'm surprised by this too. Again, I'm not exactly the biggest fan of her or anything, but I have to admit, besides the fact she looks about as happy to be there as Grumpy Cat, she looks super awesome. With Nicki Minaj you honestly never know what she'll rock up in (there have been some train wrecks in the past), but this time, she really dressed to impress. It's classy, it's a bit glam, and she looks awesome. That to me is a quality dress.
I seriously really like this. Apparently, Victoria's been getting some mixed reviews on her MTV Movie Awards ensemble, but I have to say, I think she looked awesome (hence her place on my list). First off, she came in pink, how could that not be amazing? It's got kind of an unusual pattern going on which I really love, the sparkly accessories just finish it off really nicely. What can I say? She rocked it.
Although this wasn't terribly fancy, I have to say, I like what Jessica Alba managed to pull together. Let's face it, if you're going to dress down at an award show, the MTV Movie Awards are the one to pick. I like the lemon colour of the skirt, and you can't go wrong with a crop top, high waisted skirt combo. She looked pretty and what she wore was suitable for the event, so that in my books is a winner.
Also rocking black at the awards was Debby Ryan. Once again, it seems that a newbie Disney star whom I'm not very familiar with has made it onto the list (although I have to admit, I did used to watch 'The Suite Life on Deck' way back in 2009). And I have to say, she looks pretty awesome. It's sleek, it's elegant and looks great. What is there to fault?
I'm sorry Lupita, I really am. It seems that everyone on the internet really loved this outfit, but I'm sorry, I just don't at all. The top of it looks a bit like the debris left over from an explosion at M&M World, while the bottom looks the colour swatches you'd find stuffed at the bottom of an interior designer's brief case. It's just too confusing, I can't get on board with that. Also, if the dress has a turtle neck, odds are it isn't going to be the best. Hopefully you'll be back to your stylish self in no time Lupita.
What is this? I honestly don't even know what I'm looking at. This is just one big no from me. Surprisingly, this has actually been on a couple of people's best dressed list, can you believe that? To me, this dress just looks like a sack of cat vomit (perhaps Grumpy Cat got to her before the show?). It does nothing for her, and the pattern around the top is just off. You think it can't get any worse? Just wait until you get to the shoes. What are those? They look like one of those brick mobile phones from the '80's. This is just a big pile of no.
Jillian Rose Reed
Unfortunately, I couldn't let my bias get in the way of this one. No matter how much I like 'Awkward', I just couldn't let this horrible dress slide. I don't even know why this image would be put on a dress. What is it even supposed to be anyway? Some sort of sea landscape I suppose. But as someone who has recently just gone on holidays and managed to escape the burden that is geography, this dress offends me on so many levels. Why Jillian why? Maybe you should get some tips from your character Tamara next time you rock up to an award show.
What is this? Is it a jumpsuit, is it a weird wrap dress? I just don't know. Whatever it is, it's horrible. It kind of looks like a really bad kimono sort of thing, and I'm just not digging that. What's with the belt? It's strange and unnecessary. Also what is with the random prints? I can see a black and white leopard print, as well as other random monochrome stripes. Whacking on random bits of orange stuff on top of that doesn't make it interesting, it makes it stupid. Just, no.
Yet again, it seems another 'Awkward' star has made it onto my worst dressed list. Before we even get to her outfit though, what is she doing? It looks like she took too many laxatives before she left home and just decided to relieve herself in the middle of the red carpet. That is never a good look, ever! She certainly embodies the name of her show in this picture. The dress isn't even actually that bad. Sure, it's totally ill-fitting and looks like a wannabe princess sort of thing, but at least it's not hideous. But seriously, what is going on with her hair? It looks like something a16 year old would have to go to their prom and later regret. It's age inappropriate, and I still can't get over that pose. No, just no.
The Actual Award Show
The show started, like it always does, with a little video intro. What witty remarks did host Conan O'Brien manage to make in this? Legitimately pretty much none. Why is this you ask? Simply because he hardly even spoke. It was all based around him in a board room with a bunch of random executives trying to come up with something to do for the intro. They then decide upon having a bunch of celebrity cameos (50 to be exact) for no apparent reason. Do these celebrities say anything? Not really. What really sucked was that the only person who got to speak was Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift! She shouldn't be allowed to speak ever, let alone on television. Just because I'm cool and feel like wasting time, the cameos were:
1. Andy Samberg, 2. Seth Rogen, 3. Sarah Silverman, 4. Ice Cube, 5. Elijah Wood, 6. Chris Pratt, 7. Jessica Alba, 8. Ashton Kutcher, 9. Anna Faris, 10. Danny McBride, 11. Ed Helms, 12. Jason Bateman, 13. Lupita Nyong'o 14. Adam Sandler, 15. Russell Crowe, 16. Jennifer Connelly, 17. Emma Watson, 18. Anthony Hopkins, 19. Logan Lerman, 20. Shaun White, 21. Rosario Dawson, 22. Willie Nelson, 23. Blake Griffin, 24. Taylor Swift, 25. Martin Scorsese, 26. James Franco, 27. Paul Rudd, 28. Aziz Ansari, 29. Grumpy Cat, 30. Carrie Brownstein, 31. Fred Armisen, 32. Skrillex, 33. Demi Moore, 34. Banksy, 35. Tom Arnold, 36. Simon Helberg, 37. Melissa Rauch, 38. Mayim Bialik, 39. Johnny Galecki, 40. Jim Parsons, 41. Kunal Nayyar, 42. Kaley Cuoco, 43. Mindy Kaling, 44. Adam Scott, 45. Ellen Page, 46. Charles Barkley, 47. Jack Nicholson, 48. Katy Perry, 49. Jack White ending predictably with 50. Conan O'Brien
All in all, it was pretty sucky. I mean I guess seeing celebrities is entertaining, but seriously, it gets old very quickly.
Anyway, he eventually actually made it onto the stage, pyrotechnics in full swing, making jokes about satanic cults. I don't know if it's just me, but I just seriously don't find that guy funny. I've never seen his show, nor will I ever now. Personal opinions aside, it just kind of kept dragging on like that, before finally he broke into a musical number which was all about how he didn't want to do a musical number (because logic is no longer prevalent). The only joke he made that I found vaguely entertaining was when he pointed out that Grumpy Cat got a better seat than Nick Lachey. However, this was probably only due to the fact that it was about Grumpy Cat.
And the Winners are . . .
The Hunger Games
- Movie of the Year
- Best Female Performance, The Hunger Game: Catching Fire
- Best Male Performance, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
- Breakthrough Performance, We're The Millers
Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Will Poulter
- Best Kiss, We're The Millers
Orlando Bloom and Evangeline Lilly vs. Orcs
- Best Fight, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
- Best Comedic Performance, The Wolf of Wall Street
- Best Shirtless Performance, That Awkward Moment
- Best Villain, Oz The Great and Powerful
- Best On-Screen Transformation, Dallas Buyers Club
Backstreet Boys, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen and Craig Robinson
- Best Musical Moment, This Is The End
- Best Cameo Performance, This Is The End
- Trailblazer Award
MTV Generation Award
- Mark Wahlberg
Conan O'Brien and Adam DeVine
I talked a bit about their performance before, and I'll say it again, I really don't find Conan funny. Still, the song was okay. When Pitch Perfect's Adam DeVine came to the stage it made it a bit more entertaining, but I have to say, as far as songs about nothing go, this wasn't the best. They legitimately did everything to try and make the audience like it, including randomly whipping out a gospel choir, but still, it just didn't work for me. I'm sorry guys, but you're unfunny song just didn't do it for me.
Rihanna and Eminem
What can I say? Their performance of 'Monster' was spot on. What I really liked about it was that although Rihanna sounded similar to the recording, she changed it up a bit in the live setting, which is always to be appreciated. Plus, the song's super catchy, so that never hurts. And Eminem, oh my god. I've never heard him perform live before (to be honest, before last year, I don't think I'd ever heard him on a recording, but whatever), and he was honestly so good! I don't know how people can speak that fast and make it sound good. Sure, I've been known to speak a mile a minute, but not in a way that vaguely interests people. All in all, an awesome performance.
Ellie Goulding and Zedd
This performance was kind of a weird mash-up of two songs that are on the 'Divergent' soundtrack, these being 'Beating Heart' by Ellie Goulding and 'Find You' by Zedd. Weirdly enough though, it wasn't really a mash-up, it was more like two consecutive songs by two different artists (not that I'm judging or anything). So it felt a bit disjointed, but yeah, it was pretty good. I can't really pick out any technical flaws or anything, it was just a bit boring (although that's my weird taste). While relatively enjoyable, it wasn't exactly super entertaining, but I guess it is the MTV Movie Awards, not the Grammy's, so my hopes weren't particularly high.
The time has come again for me to dole out my awards for the most epic and memorable moments of the night. Who will win this time? The anticipation must be killing you.
Biggest Gummy Bear Attack: This one goes to Tyler Posey of 'Teen Wolf'. He ripped into that massive Gummy Bear in the middle of Zedd's performance like there was no tomorrow.
Most Angry Feline: There's no question that this title deservedly belongs to Grumpy Cat, the clue's in his name! What makes this photo awesome is that it looks like he stole Pharrell William's hat before rocking up to the award show.
Most Awkward Shirtless Moment: I know this wasn't the intended reaction, but when Rita Ora practically attacked Zac Efron, I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I'm not entirely sure who's to blame for this one, but it's one of those two. It's fitting that Zac's new movie is called 'That Awkward Moment'.
Best Impersonation by a Canine: This one has to be a tie between doggy Ron Burgundy and doggy George Clooney from 'Gravity'. I honestly don't know why they were even there, but I'm so glad they were.
Best Bro Moment: This prestigious award goes to Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill when they shared a little sneak attack bro hug that they thought the audience didn't notice.
Best Acceptance Speech: The lucky recipient of this award is Will Poulter. In his speech, he managed to jokingly talk about dating two women at once, before getting knocked down via text by an 'annoyed' Jennifer Aniston (you had to be there).
Most Entertaining Joke: Considering Conan's jokes throughout the night were pretty poor, this one goes to Lupita Nyong'o.
Best Selfie: I had no choice but to give this to Rita Ora, Tyler Posey and a couple of snappily dressed canines.
So that's the end of my round-up of the 2014 MTV Movie Awards. Congratulations, you made it to the finish line! Now this saves you from enduring the torture that is listening to Conan's off-colour, unfunny jokes. Til' next time . . .