Hello again readers! Today, for no particular reason, I thought I'd get in touch with my inner potterhead and list some of the awesome spells JK Rowling was kind enough to introduce us to. Before we begin, make sure you're in a comfortable position, because spoiler alert, it's story time. When I was little, I'm not even slightly joking, I was totally convinced I was a witch. I've briefly mentioned before that I was completely and utterly devastated at age 11 when I never received my letter to Hogwarts (and yes, of course I still hold a grudge), but it didn't stop there. I thought I had all this power over the universe, and if I'm being totally honest, I'm still pretty sure (or am under the illusion that) I have some kind of magical powers going on. Moral of the story, witchcraft is pretty frickin' awesome. Anyway, enough about me, let's get down to business . . .
Tarantallegra - Forces Target to Dance
This is officially the best thing ever. Some of you may not fully appreciate the awesomeness of it yet, but just think of all the flashmob possibilities! Come on, this is like my dream come true. Just imagine it, one moment your teacher's berating you in front of the whole class, and the next, they're breaking out some of the coolest 90's hip hop moves you've ever seen. Does life get any better than that? I think not. You're entire existence would just be like that one scene from 'Beetlejuice':
Legilimens - Reveals Memories and Thoughts of Target
Boy would this one come in handy. You know those annoyingly suspicious people who always look like they've got something on their mind but will never, ever tell you what it is? Imagine a world where they didn't exist. Yes, only sorcery could be responsible for such a thing, but isn't it awesome? You would seriously have the ultimate power. Just thinking about this is turning me a little evil. Things would only begin to go awry if the spell was used against you rather than to your advantage, but fingers crossed it doesn't come to that.
Evanesco - Vanishing Spell
Talk about instant teleporation. If vanishing spells were a thing, think of how much time you'd save? Catching public transport would be a thing of the past, and cars would totally be rendered redundant. Sure, you won't have getting your license to look forward to when you turn 16, but you can teleport! See, every cloud has a silver lining. Plus, if you're really terrible at awkward goodbyes, just avoid the situation altogether and disappear mid sentence. Social conventions be damned!
Scourgify - Cleans Things
I'm not going to lie to you all and say that I currently spend gruelling hours cleaning my bedroom, because that would be completely and utterly untrue, however, am I asked to complete said task frequently? Yes, I most certainly am. How cool would it be to not only get the task done, but with minimal effort? At the flick of a wand, nagging parents are no more, and spotless surroundings are instant.
Accio - Summoning Charm
Just think, any celebrity, any time. Your number one idol could be rocking up to your house right now! Don't tell me you'd deny yourself a brush with fame. If it were up to me, the entire Glee cast would be in my room at this moment, serenading me with whatever chart topper they've decided to tackle this week. This spell would definitely come in handy, and open you up to a whole range of perks you never even thought possible. Manipulation is so underrated.
Glisseo - Turns a Staircase into a Slide
This would actually be one of the best things to ever grace this Earth. Instant slides, I think yes! Not only do you get the perks of a theme park without the lines, but this spell also happens to eliminate exercise. That's just the biggest win-win ever! Plus, slides are about as awesome as it gets. You get the gratification of thrill-seeking without doing anything vaguely risky. Could this spell get any better? I really don't think it's possible. Just imagine, everyday could be like that awesome scene from 'The Princess Diaries 2':
So bam, you've now reached the end of my slightly supernatural blog post! Here's hoping witchcraft and wizardry somehow becomes possible for the average human, and we can put these awesome spells to good use in say a week or so. Til' next time . . .