'New Girl' Recap: Season 3 Premiere

Hello again and welcome back (or welcome you first time readers)! A few days ago, the season 3 premiere of 'New Girl' came out in America (thank God for downloading), and I'm here and ready to re-cap. After the long awaited shocker at the end of last season (spoiler alert- Nick and Jess finally got together), I was pretty much prepared for anything.

The episode began with its first ever 'previously on New Girl', before following on from the end of last season, with Nick and Jess fleeing Cece's failed wedding and driving off into the distance. Nothing much really happened at first, as they continued to have back and forth conversations about how much they liked each other (riveting television right there), and giving up on their hope of spicing things up by returning to the loft.

They didn't even get to make their way inside, when Schmidt called both Jess and Nick several times to question them on their whereabouts, before barging out into the hall and finding them hovering outside good old apartment 4D. Placating both Schmidt and Winston for the time being, Nick and Jess were able to make a getaway and bolt from the hallway (cue the opening theme).

Next up, we see Schmidt facing some problems of his own. Also following on from last season, he is now forced to choose between Cece (who has just abandoned her wedding to admit her feelings for him) and Elizabeth (a random chick we've just met who we don't really care about). His usual confidant, Nick,  having fled the country, Schmidt is forced to ask Winston for advice (never a good idea). Still suffering from blood loss after being attacked by a ferret in the previous episode, he isn't very helpful to say the least. He is fixated on completing some weird puzzle, and doesn't really care about the outcome of Schmidt's love life. Somehow, he finds the answer and sets out to break up with Cece and get together with Elizabeth (see what happens when people talk to Winston- things get cray).

Prepared to break up with Cece, Schmidt makes his way over to her apartment. Starting off by rambling and beating around the bush, Cece questions him on his actual intentions. Backing down, Schmidt wimps out and tells Cece it is her he has chosen to be with. Then we flip to his conversation with Elizabeth, that is pretty much exactly the same. Basically, he went from having the problem of choosing between two girls to be with, to having the problem of choosing between two girls to break-up with.

We then leave the relationship drama in America to look at more on the other side of the border. We're back with Nick and Jess, who it turns out have fled to Mexico, and created a weird, non durable fort on a beach that they have been living in for four days.  Deciding that it wasn't a suitable option, they decide to break into a hotel (because that's logical). Jess manages to steal a kid's wristband that tricks the security guard into thinking that she is a guest, however Nick isn't so lucky. As he attempts to fight against it, the guards take him to what they call 'jail'.

Back in the loft, Schmidt is still having the same problem- dating two girls at the same time. While he is having a shower, Cece enters and is greeted by Winston, who still thinks Schmidt has broken up with her. Thinking that he has to console her, he only gets a chance to say 'sorry about Elizabeth', before Schmidt reappears and creates an elaborate lie that puts Winston in the blame. Cece leaves, creeped out by Winston, and then things get a bit cray. Winston's pent up 'puzzle' frustration all comes out at once, and he and Schmidt get into a really weird, nonsensical argument. This is officially my favourite scene in the episode. It's kind of a thing where you just have to watch it to understand it. So watch it. Right now.

Meanwhile, Jess still hasn't been able to free Nick from 'jail', and decides to call in the help of Schmidt and Winston, who seem to miraculously appear almost instantly in Mexico. On their quest to find Nick, a bunch of other stuff happens- the usual banter, antics, and Winston discovering that he is colour blind. They finally find him locked in a room. Turns out, he was only sent to the jail contained within the hotel. He was even allowed to watch 'Ugly Betty'.

Once that was all sorted, Nick said that he wanted to permanently move to Mexico with Jess, because he didn't think their relationship would survive back in the loft (I thought it was a bit deep for a comedy show, but whatever). After Nick threatened to shred his passport so he couldn't leave, Schmidt brashly stated that he would jump in and shred his own ear if Nick were to leave permanently. After Jess's spiel about being a family, Nick decided to go back to the loft and live happily ever after back home. But of course, somehow, Nick's passport managed to fly into the shredder (don't ruin the story with logic). Claiming that he was the master of puzzles, Winston said he could work with it, and that was that.

Back in the car, the gang was stopped at the Mexican border and asked for their passports. Of course, the guard was suspicious of Nick's (as it had been sticky-taped together really badly), but somehow, he was magically allowed to pass through (because we all know border security is pretty casual). Now we're back at the loft, and Nick and Jess are already fighting over who should carry the key to the apartment. Then randomly they become all lovey-dovey and sort out their problems, effectively creeping out Winston and Schmidt (and everyone watching at home). The episode ends as Schmidt makes a call to Cece confirming dinner for the night ahead, before doing the same with Elizabeth, and Winston creepily attempts to complete his puzzle.

It was kind of an odd episode- not bad odd, just odd. Oh well, I'm just glad to have it back, and am of course excited for next week. Click here to watch the promo, or just wait and see what happens. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Rant Time: Cory Monteith Emmy Eulogy

Welcome back everybody! First off, before we begin, can we just take the opportunity to celebrate the fact that I've written and posted two blog entries today?

Okay, now that that's over with, let's get started. I must warn you, this is going to be a massive rant. But I just have so much anger that I need to express. So where better to post about it than on a random blog that probably no one reads? Anyway, back on track. It was announced recently that Cory Monteith (RIP) will be remembered in a eulogy at the Emmy Awards this weekend. I was already going to be watching (being the secret award show enthusiast that I am), but now, I most certainly, 100% MUST tune in (or download it, whatever). However, apparently there has been some controversy over his inclusion. It turns out that not everyone who has died over the past year gets honoured in the eulogy, so others are saying that Cory does not deserve to be apart of it. Of course, I wholeheartedly believe that he is deserving of it. So basically, in the rest of this blog post, I'm going to prove just how wrong these peoples' opinions are (and I promise I won't be too biased).

These people have been stating that due to Cory's 'body of work', there are other actors and producers who are more deserving. Step back. I'm pretty sure that someone once said that it's not about quantity, but rather quality. Whether or not you are a fan of the show (although I don't see how anyone cannot be), there is no denying that 'Glee' has had a significant impact. You can't enter a store without being confronted by themed merchandise or media. In fact (speaking from personal experience), it has one of the most passionate and devoted fan bases out there. Without Cory, there would have been no Glee. No Finn Hudson, no Season 1. No Season 1, no show. So basically, he has pretty much been one of the main contributors in keeping Glee afloat since 2009, a show which we have established has changed the lives of many.

Also, please correct me if I'm wrong (I'm not wrong), but hasn't 'Glee' been a pretty major player in the Emmys for the past few years? Having won the Emmy for Best TV Series- Musical or Comedy two years in a row, and nominated again in 2012. Shouldn't that mean something?

Sure, some people have been arguing that he has only been included in the eulogy due to his popularity, but isn't there a reason for him being so favoured among the teen community? Yes, yes there is. He is popular because he was in 'Glee', and we've already established the show's extreme significance. So why the big deal people? If he weren't featured in the memorial, that is when real problems would arise.

So yeah, that's about it. It hasn't been a very long post, but it has been mainly therapeutic for me. If I hadn't let out my internal rage, I probably would've combusted or something (and no one wants that). I hope you agree or enjoy reading my totally biased rants, or at least are somewhat entertained by my over the top obsession.

Yep. I'm officially done now. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Illegal Baby Names

Hello and welcome back readers! Don't worry, the gif above isn't directed at you (yet), but rather the people who have decided to give their children really stupid and illegal names (which brings me to today's topic). As you've probably guessed, the topic is those parents whose childrens' names have been so horrendous, they are now against the law. Now that's all sorted, let's begin . . .

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

This may seem ridiculous, but believe it or not, someone actually named their child this. And personally, what I find even more ridiculous, is that she was stuck with the name for 9 years. 9 years! I mean it's an absurd name, but it may be a little harsh making it totally illegal. That would suck, having to go back to school and awkwardly explain to everyone that you've got a new name because your parents are idiots. Oh well, better late than never I guess.

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I know what you're thinking, and no, I haven't just gone into a fit of rage and started bashing the keyboard. This was an actual name given to a child in Sweden. But here's the kicker. Turns out, it was pronounced 'Albin'. Calling a child Albin is cruel enough, but making it 43 characters? How is anyone supposed to live with that?!? I couldn't even spell my 11 character last name until year 3! Apparently, the child's parents wanted to prove a point to the Swedish government about how tough they are on name restrictions. If this is what people name their kids, maybe they aren't being too harsh!

Chow Tow

You may be thinking, why would anyone ban a perfectly nice sounding asian name? Wrong. Turns out, Chow Tow translates to 'Smelly Head'. And yes, someone in Malaysia named their kid Smelly Head. While sober. I actually can't understand at all why someone would put their child through that. Yeah, laughing at the expense of others can be fun, but not when they're related to you. I'm pretty sure that violates some kind of family code of ethics. If that were me, I'd be chucking my parents in an elderly home asap.

@

I didn't know that punctuation could  name, but apparently, it used to be (of course before it became illegal). In China, some parents thought it would be great to give their child a unique name, and settled on the at sign. Why? No logical person knows. Some have said that it looks like the Chinese symbol for 'love him'. You may be thinking 'aww, how sweet'- well don't. Who would call their child Love Him in the first place? That's just really weird and needy. Personally, the at sign made more sense. As you have probably guessed, this name didn't really fly well with the Chinese government, because apparently it would act as an example to all citizens (can't have too much free will, now can we).

Akuma

Again, another misleading name. Again, another awful translation. This time, it turns out that Akuma translates to 'devil'. Obviously not the most religious people, this is what  a couple named their kid in Japan. Sure, children suck, but actually naming them devil? Probably going a bit far. The Japanese authorities seemed to think so too, because they accused the parents of violating their kids' rights and caused a lengthy court battle.

So there you go. Some of the weird names that you never thought existed, that have turned out to be illegal. Whoo! Hope this has entertained and informed you in some way, or that it wasn't a total waste of time. That's about it. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Weird Ways to Die

Hola readers! Welcome back. Today, I'll be summing up some of the really weird ways that people have died over the years. Although it is a touch morbid, it's mainly just entertaining (in a horrible way). Moral compass aside, let's get to it (in no particular order).

Death by bronchitis while locked in a cupboard

For this to happen, your luck would have to be absolutely terrible. In 2004, Ronald McClagish from England accidentally got trapped in a cupboard when someone else's (it wasn't even his own!) wardrobe fell over and trapped him inside. Surprisingly enough, from the fall and entrapment itself, he was absolutely fine. No, what got him was the bronchitis. After having been stuck in there for a week, he burst a water pipe when he was trying to escape and flooded the cupboard, in turn, resulting in him acquiring bronchitis, which apparently when left untreated, can cause death. All I can think is that if this is some sort of karma, what must he have done to other people to deserve this? Either that, or he's jinxed.

You know what's coming next.

Death by Water Intoxication while trying to win a Nintendo Wii

This one would just suck. In 2007, a woman named Jennifer Strange entered a radio competition called 'Hold Your Wee for a Wii'. The idea was to drink heaps of water without weeing in order to win a Nintendo Wii console. Pretty simple concept. As you probably guessed, it didn't seem so simple for Jennifer, as she drank to much and inevitably died of Water Intoxication. What really bugged me was that she never even got to win the Wii. Life sucks.

Death by Video Games

I can practically feel all of the gamers inwardly cringing. In 2005, Lee Seung Seop decided to play the video game StarCraft for 50 hours straight. Obviously the stress must've got to her, because she collapsed of exhaustion and died. How is this possible? I have no idea. I honestly didn't think that clicking a mouse and a space bar for a while could kill a person, but apparently, it can. I also have absolutely no idea how anyone could do anything for 50 hours straight. That's just over two days! Oh well . . . at least she died doing something she loved.

Death by Hay

This proves that you can never be to careful driving. Mike Edwards, apparently a British founding member cellist of band ELO (although I've never head of him), decided to go out driving in some sort of abandoned farm in 2010. Taking his eyes off the road (or country dirt path), a large bale of hay rolled down a hill and hit his car, killing him in the process. Just remember, be aware of everything around you at all times, and never randomly drive around a strange deserted farm land where no one will ever be able to help you. Keep that in mind, and you should be fine.

Death by Beaver

I think we all knew this, but this officially confirms that animals are evil. Earlier this year, a 60 year old man from Belarus tried to have his picture taken with a beaver (yes, you read that right). Obviously, the beaver wasn't as willing, as it became vicious and bit into several of the man's arteries, causing him to die of blood loss. Apparently this is the first recorded case of a beaver actually killing a human. This may sound awful, but I'm kind of proud of them. They're moving up in the world. And lets face it, the beaver was just trying to defend itself against a weird, animal-crazed photographer. I don't blame it.














Yay, that's the end. If you're lured by the subject of weird and stupid deaths there a three things you can do. Number one, read this blog post seven times. Number two, check out the Youtube video 'Dumb Ways To Die' (if you haven't already). And finally, number three, research and watch the Darwin awards. Hope this was entertaining in a weird way, and not too morbid. That's all. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Most Popular Videos

Hello again readers! Today I will be watching and reviewing the videos that are currently under Youtube's 'Most Popular' tab. As you've probably grasped by now, I'm a pretty harsh reviewer (unless it has anything to do with 'Glee'- because every reviewer needs bias). Anyway, so just, try not to be offended. Before I get into it, here's the list of videos:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

1. Ja'mie: Private School Girl (Sneak Peek)
Yes! As a major fan of the 'Summer Heights High' series (and Ja'mie 'herself'), I was so excited to see this in the 'Most Popular' Youtube tab. Having already liked the official Facebook page, I cannot wait for this series to come out! Obviously, this one is going to get a good review from me. Although only 28 seconds, with absolutely no dialogue, I am still pumped for it. Considering that was the main purpose of the video, I'd say, mission accomplished. If you haven't seen 'Summer Heights High' watch it, like, right now! I'm serious, go!

2. Anchorman- The Legend Continues (Australian Election)
I thought this was kind of random, but entertaining nonetheless. It seems that in preparation for 'Anchorman 2', youtube has released these parody news clips about current events. This video's take was on the recent Australian election. I haven't even seen the first movie (hence my confusion), but the jokes weren't too cheesy or racially stereotypical, and I've respected Will Ferrell since 'Elf'. So who knows? There may be a viewing of 'Anchorman' in my future.

3. Katy Perry- Roar
I actually really enjoyed this, a lot. I have to say, I am a fan of her movie style music videos ('Last Friday Night' still has to be number one though). So, of course I liked it. Sure, I pretty much had no idea what the storyline was, but I knew that there was a jungle, and animals with human characteristics, and Katy Perry in a risqué cave woman suit, so that's all we really need to know. I don't mind the song, but the video makes it. I don't know, I just really love random, unexpected story lines that come out of nowhere (unless you're Miley Cyrus, then no). So yeah, go have a looksie.

4. Hitler Finds Out Richmond Lost the Final to Carlton
Although this was funny, I actually had absolutely no idea what was going on. I am quite a fan of the 'Hitler Parody' videos, but about sport? Not so much. It's just that I don't care. I don't even know which sport is which, let alone what the teams are. But still, Hitler's reaction about trivial matters never fails to entertain. So if you're a sports fan, go for your life, but if you're like me and prefer something (anything) else, then I suggest you watch some of the other Hitler reaction videos, like the Kurt and Blaine break up on 'Glee', or 'Friday' by Rebecca Black.

5. Fake Professor on First Day Prank
I actually really liked this video. At first, I was super confused, because I had no idea why someone would bother putting up a video of a random lecture at a university (or college, or whatever other tertiary education your country has) and how that would've got so many views. At one point, the 'professor' tells all the students to put away their phones and laptops, and I honestly thought  that was the funniest thing that was going to happen. Luckily, it wasn't. At the end, the big shocker (which I won't reveal to you) is actually really funny. But you'll just have to watch and see . . .

6. Rich Rocka- 550
This actually pained me to watch. I was forced (by my weird devotion to the blog) to sit through 3 minutes and 2 seconds of auto-tuned, non-sensical rap music. This is why I try and steer clear of popular music, because things like this happen! It was awful, it really was. How it became popular? I have absolutely no idea. At all. My advice? If you want to listen to some cool rap music, crack open the 80's catalogue and crank up some Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer (or alternatively, listen to the 'Glee' versions). That's literally all I can say before I pass out due to extreme boredom and exhaustion from having to analyse this.

7. Wrecking Ball- Miley Cyrus
So the new Miley music video is out, and as expected, it pushes boundaries. However, after her VMA performance, I was pleasantly surprised. No sparkly teddy bear unitards, foam fingers, and not even any twerking (have to say, I was a bit disappointed about that). But don't worry, she managed to get some tongue action in there, awkwardly licking the 'wrecking ball' shown in the clip. It begins with a raw, 'Sinead O' Connor' style close up. Then we see her walking around with a sledgehammer in hand wearing white underwear and a cropped white singlet. That's when the message starts to become unclear. Though, what has really caused the controversy in the media is that in some clips, Miley is seen completely nude, swinging on a wrecking ball (hence the name of the song). Of course, the ball is strategically placed as to not reveal anything that we didn't see at the VMA's, but still, it's a bit raunchy. I get the thinking behind it (believe it or not, it was sort of relevant nudity). She's supposed to be vulnerable, and therefore in the video, she is shown in her most vulnerable state. However, since pretty much everyone in the world knows that ex Hannah Montana is pretty comfortable in the skin she's in, and constantly pushes the suggestive envelope, it came across as trashy (no surprise there). Perhaps Lady Gaga could've pulled it off, but not the off-the-rails 20 years old the media loves to hate. Surprisingly, I actually quite liked the song. No joke! Let's just say it's a big improvement on 'We Can't Stop' (not that that's hard). Not even one single drug reference!

8. Ylvis- The Fox
I don't even know how to go about pronouncing this, let alone talking about this video. I have to say, I think this is my favourite song ever. That is not an exaggeration, at all! This may just be the best thing on Earth. Would it be terribly offensive to say that I love foreign people? I don't care, I'm saying it anyway. This song is all about the noises that various animals make, and how they've created a new noise for the fox. It first premiered on a Norwegian reality show. First off, can I just say, I love Norway! It gets a bad wrap, but it may just be the most awesome place on Earth (because of this video). If I haven't lured you, I don't know what will!

9. How To Twerk Like Miley
The second time Miss Cyrus has graced my blog in the one post! Sort of. This video (a parody obviously) is trying to be funny, but failed. I think we've all seen the meme of Miley with rear end of a chicken (once again, based on her shorts at the VMA's). The chicken joke was funny the first time, but now it's kind of getting old. We get it, her performance was raunchy and scarred the lives of many, but the jokes are getting stale. The more attention we give her, the more of her we'll see. Do we really want to add fuel to the fire? I don't think so. So yeah, it was pretty much a waste of 49 seconds.

So that's it! I hope I've helped you officially decide what Youtube videos to take a look at or to scroll past. Or, you found my ranting entertaining. Whatever it is, I hope I took care of it. That's about all. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

What's Trending?

Welcome back readers! Sorry (again) I haven't posted anything for a while (tbh time: completely forgot about it). So to make up for it, I'm posting two entries today!

As you may have guessed (from the kind of obvious title), this post is about what's currently trending on twitter. Apparently, people's twitter trends vary depending on your account (weird, I know). Most of you probably already knew that, but being a twitter newbie, it was news to me. Anyway, the point of this is just to let you know that the trends that I see (and will be blogging about) may differ to yours.

Now that that's all sorted, here's what's trending:

NYFW
After some research (it's kind of sad that it was necessary, but anyway), I've discovered that NYFW stands for 'New York Fashion Week' (kind of a given, but apparently I'm not quite 'up on' popular contractions yet). This event marks the beginning of Spring in the fashion world, and therefore, a new range of clothing to suit the change in climate. This event has been the talk of the town (and the twitter-verse) as of late. Sadly, no massive cat fights or wardrobe mishaps have happened to warrant this attention, just the usual hype. I like clothes and fashion and stuff, but do I really stalk the runway? No, not really. But on the plus side, it's in New York! And who doesn't love New York? There's landmarks, there's shopping, and, it's the home of 'Gossip Girl'. However, celebrities and fashion icons seem to be getting on board, as they have been non-stop tweeting about the clothes, the food, or just simply being in the audience. To include some of the trends from the fashion week in your wardrobe, click here. Or, alternatively, be like me and stick to the good old target classics the spring.

SCD
Also after some research, I've found that SCD stands for 'Strictly Come Dancing', a British reality show, that has spawned others such as 'Dancing With The Stars' that we know and love (or tolerate). Everyone seems to be pumped for the new season apparently. Being honest once again, I don't really care. I've now officially stopped watching 'Dancing With The Stars' (my lack of interest getting the better of me), nor do I really follow anything that happens in Britain. All I really know about the place is that they have Queen Elizabeth, they're (sadly) the home of One Direction, and people have about 17 different accents depending on where they're from. It's just too confusing to keep up on them, America (land of television) and Australia (land of me). Though if you're interested, and/or from Britain, the new series has just begun, and you can read all about it here. Or not.

Australia Votes/Election Project/Senate/StephenSmith/Barnaby Joyce
This one is pretty self-explanatory (therefore, no research required). Last night, everyone's estimates were proved correct, when Tony Abbott of the Liberal Party officially became Prime Minister of Australia, making it the second time Kevin Rudd has been forced to step down from the position (although this time, it was at leads by an opposing party, and not his own). Surprisingly, Labor didn't lose by as much as everyone thought they would, but they still never had a chance. Pretty much everyone in the country, no matter what political party they support, seem to think that this change in government will have a massive impact on the country (whether it be positive or negative). Personally, I really don't think it will make that much of a difference. Both parties, in theory, have the best interest of Australia in mind, and just go about it in different ways, by passing random bills through parliament talking about stuff that everyone pretends to understand, but doesn't.  Saying this, I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about (and neither do most teens, based on the interviews I conducted last week). So really, I'm kind of the wrong person to ask, but whatever, you can still read my probably inaccurate opinions.

Also, just to clarify with the Stephen Smith thing (now I know who he is- thank you internet), apparently his and is trending because he conceded just minutes after the polls closed yesterday (not that any teens really care, but don't shoot the messenger). Barnaby Joyce (another Australian politician who you won't care about) won a seat in parliament, apparently causing another frenzy on twitter. But don't worry, that's it for politics, I swear.

Great Anime War
Even after researching, I am not sure what this is (I don't think anyone will ever be sure).I've tried looking it up, and scrolling through the twitter tag, but nothing makes sense to me. Who knows? It could be an anime drawing competition, an anime knowledge-off of sorts, or something else entirely. Whatever it actually is, everyone seems to take it very seriously, and it involves a lot of deep, meaningful, non-sensical quotes. I suppose I can't judge, as the Glee fandom I'm apart of may seem like this to outsiders, but this just feels creepier. If anyone is a participant in these anime wars, please let me know what they are, because at the moment, I am extremely confused.

2020 Olympics/Tokyo
It seems that already, people are looking ahead to- not the next olympics- but the ones after that. These future games have recently been making head lines, as it has recently been announced that Tokyo has won the bid to host said olympic games. Good for them. I have to say, I don't really care, but that's great for their country nonetheless. At least, finally, we know where they're going to be. Sure I'm bitter that they won't be hosted in Australia, but Tokyo's pretty cool. With their wacky fashion trends and ahead-of-the-game electronics. But I really don't want to think about 2020, because that means I will be 22! That is so old! I'll be well on my way to a Broadway career by then (it's gonna happen, it is). So, I'm just gonna focus on the next olympics that are in Rio in 2016, when I'll only be 18, and forced to endure my HSC (ugh). Actually, you know what, why doesn't everyone just focus on 2013.

Congratulations! You have made it to the bottom of the list alive, and are now totally aware of everything that's happening at the moment (whether you care about it to not). I promise you,buy next post will be more interesting and teen-relevant, but I just felt I had to talk about what's trending first. Thanks for reading and not just exiting straight away. Have a great weekend (what's left of it anyway)! Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Inaccurate Depictions of Teens in Movies

Greetings readers! Welcome back to my weird and cray blog. Sorry for my recent absence. As you can probably tell by the title, today I will be pin-pointing what I think are the terrible depictions of teens that I have found in movies. Again, before you proceed, I just have to warn you that some members of certain fandoms may once again be offended, so be sure to stand clear. Anyway, here's the list:

Mean Girls
I know, I know! Don't hate me! 'Mean Girls' may be an awesome movie (however over-exposed it seems to be at the moment), but does it really accurately depict teens? I don't think so. Have you ever seen anyone get hit by a bus, suffer from major spinal chord injury, yet still attend the school formal?

Let's get real- do you really think someone as smart as Cady would ever, ever, be allowed anywhere near Regina and her pack of wannabes? No, the answer is no (no matter how much us nerds wish it weren't).

But let's look on the bright  side, we now have so many more tumblr gifs and quotes to use!

High School Musical
I guess this sort of applies to the entire Disney franchise, but I thought HSM was the number one culprit. The random singing and dancing (and not in a 'Glee' way), the over dramatized facial expressions, the 'squeaky clean' image every character promotes . . . not going to happen. Ever. I don't think any teenager would respond to Sharpay's constant attacks with a frown and an over emotional, melancholy ballad (except maybe me on a good day). Accurately depicting the life of teens isn't exactly Disney's strong suit, so I'm not surprised (because sheltering kids from the real world is apparently the way to go about making multi million dollar movie franchises). When I watch it, I feel as if a bunch of cartoon animals are just going to come and attack me in the my sleep, while singing 'We're All In This Together'. That is not how teens should feel! Or anyone, ever! I think I'm going to stop before it gets weird . . . (to late)

She's the Man
Although this is a movie we all know and love (made pre cray Amanda Bynes), it doesn't exactly provide us with a realistic portrayal of teens. No matter how much some people may love sport, I highly doubt they'd transfer to an all boys school in order to join the soccer team. Newsflash- join an extra curricular club outside school! Problem solved! Saying this, I myself am not exactly the most sport oriented person (pretty much the opposite). Any exercise outside the confines of a dance studio is completely foreign to me. So, I guess it may be conceivable for someone's love of sport to go that far, but to actually get away with it for that long? No, I'm pretty sure someone would notice. Also, if you're friend pretended to be a male and snuck into an all boys school for a few months, would you just push it to the side and forgive them straight away? My guess is probably not. But we can still watch it, and reminisce on the Amanda Bynes that used to be *sigh*.

A Cinderella Story
We all love 'A Cinderella Story' (despite it's overwhelming cliches), but does it accurately reflect what teen life is like? I don't think so. Ostracised smart girl falls for popular athletic guy, they meet and are instantly drawn to one another at a masquerade ball, popular guy tries to find out girl's identity, finally succeeds and they push past their labels and live happily ever after. We've all heard the story before, but unfortunately that's all it'll ever be, a story. The way it would all go down in real life is ostracised smart girl falls for popular athletic guy, they meet at a masquerade ball and he has no idea what she's talking about all night, girl ends up alone, boy ends up with cheerleader. The end.

John Tucker Must Die
It's one of the most popular teen movies (according to IMDb), yet ironically is not even close to representing what teens are actually like. If one guy was playing three girls (which happens, a lot), I highly doubt they'd set up an elaborate, implausible scheme to get back at him, and complete countless, lame acts of revenge. No, not at all. The girls would just go down there, knee him in the crotch and be done with it. A more effective and time efficient method if you ask me. Considering that's basically what the entire movie's about, there was really no hope for it to be realistic in the first place.

Sleepover
Ugh. This movie reminds me of my youth (aka, 4 years ago), when I used to pick random teen movies out from the video store (it was still called a video store!), and hope for the best. Admittedly this isn't one of my favourites, but it wasn't totally horrendous. But in terms of depicting what teens are actually like? It doesn't poll so well. In real life, I highly doubt anyone, teen or not, would go to that much trouble over a spot near the fountain. Who really cares? As long as you're not next to the trash cans (for hygiene reasons), does it really matter where you are? Sit down, eat food, try and stop yourself from killing any of your teachers or peers, and go back inside when the bell rings. That's pretty much how lunch works. Also, the 'popular group' wouldn't even bother doing all those competitions over who sits where, they'd just put the others in their place and be done with it. No matter how much we want it to be, no teen hierarchy is that diplomatic (nor will it ever be).

Twilight
Okay, we all know that I've expressed my intense hatred for this movie series in the past, and am therefore jumping at any chance to put it on another list of criticism. But there is absolutely no way I could pass up this opportunity, all bias aside (well most of it anyway). Not only do its supernatural elements make it unrealistic (understandably), but the wooden emotion (if that's what you can call it) shown by the characters is totally unbelievable. For starters, Bella sees an extremely pale boy who doesn't like the sun at her school. First thought? VAMPIRE!?! Sure, when we were watching it, that was our first thought, but if you were just casually sitting next to your lab partner, would you start accusing them of being random supernatural creatures? NO! NO YOU WOULDN'T! It's weird and completely implausible! Not to mention that she's totally fine with it. What the hell? I'd pretty freaked out if I found out the person I'd been hanging around with WANTED TO EAT ME!!!!! Safe to say, everything in Twilight is completely and utterly wrong.

Yay! You're finally at the end. Hopefully my list (or my ranting) didn't offend you to much. And sorry for the overload of gifs.

So basically, from that, we got that teens enjoy watching depictions of their lives that are false.

Now we've got that sorted, that's about it. Thank you for reading, I hope you found some entertainment in it. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx