Hairspray Live (2016) vs Hairspray Film (2007)

Hello readers, and welcome back post holiday season! It's now that awkward time between the end of school and beginning of university where you don't know what day it is or feel inclined to leave the house, which for some is a literal dream come true, but for others can get a bit repetitive and boring. Personally, I'm a big fan of doing nothing so I'm loving my life, but to pull whoever is bothered to read my blog out of their post holidays depression, I've decided to entertain you today with a little musical comparison between NBC's recent(ish), live televised production of 'Hairspray' that aired on December 7th 2016, and the classic 2007 film version. One half of me is totally against this, because I respect that the two of them are both pretty awesome in their own right, and that it doesn't have to be a competition, but the other, more stubborn half is super overly analytical and heavily into musical theatre, and loves nothing more than deconstructing movies, television and live theatre. You can probably guess which half ended up winning. So, basically to appease the ENFP in me, I've decided to compare the two by looking at each cast member individually, because who doesn't love hyper critical judgement? Morally dubious justification complete, let's get into it . . .

Cast

Tracy Turnblad - Nickii Blonsky v Maddie Ballio

This one goes to Nickii Blonsky from the movie, 100%. She was literally the perfect Tracy, so already that's a lot to live up to, but Maddie Ballio's lack lustre performance of 'Good Morning Baltimore' is really what solidified this for me, not to mention she totally forgot the lyrics twice. Even though she got a lot better as she went along, I really found that hard to let go of.

VERDICT: Movie Version

Edna Turnblad - John Travolta v Harvey Fierstein

This one's pretty difficult because I feel like they both gave us two very different, but very fab Edna Turnblads. I know that Harvey Fierstein is like, THE Edna, but honestly, I think I'm giving this one to John Travolta, not only for his lol of a fat suit, but because of his more earnest portrayal and gutsy stab at a Baltimore accent. But Harvey Fierstein, you are still Hollywood goals (also please hire me, I'll literally pay you).

VERDICT: Movie Version

Link Larkin - Zac Efron v Garrett Clayton

I really feel like this is the showdown of Disney Alumni. Troy Bolton against that guy from 'Teen Beach Movie' whose character name escapes me. When I heard that Garrett Clayton was playing Link, to be honest I was really excited. I thought he was good in 'Teen Beach Movie' and the character he played in that film isn't dissimilar to Link, so to be honest I thought he would slay. Unfortunately, this wasn't quite the case. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't bad or anything, he just wasn't particularly memorable or exciting, and to be completely honest, whenever the camera was on him, I was overwhelmingly distracted by the 12 tons of make-up he had on. Zac Efron however pretty much nailed it in the movie version, which I didn't even realise until I saw other people's attempts, so kudos to Troy.

VERDICT: Movie Version

Wilbur Turnblad - Christopher Walken v Martin Short

Once again, I seem to be faced with a very difficult decision between two Hollywood legends, go figure. While I think they both did a pretty fabulous job as Wilbur, I'm giving this one to Martin Short, pretty much because he's clearly the better singer. Also, he actually made me pay attention to 'You're Timeless to Me', which, not gonna lie, I fast forward through every time I've ever watched the film. However, I repeat, they're both hella great.

VERDICT: Live Version

Motormouth Maybelle - Queen Latifah v Jennifer Hudson

Again, it seems I've got myself a pretty mammoth decision. In terms of acting, I'd say these two powerhouses are about even, but when it comes to singing, even though Queen Latifah is amazing and gives me so much life, is it even possible to beat Jennifer Hudson? I know it was quite controversial having her sing 'Big Blonde and Beautiful' despite the fact that she's not even close to being fat, which, you know, is kinda awkward and low key offensive, but in literally every other way Jennifer was perfect for this role, so just this once I think I can overlook it. Plus, her 'I Know Where I've Been' completely brought the house down and was a major highlight of the whole thing.

VERDICT: Live Version

Velma Von Tussell - Michelle Pfeiffer v Kristin Chennoweth

Honestly, this is my favourite role in the whole musical, and has been ever since I was like 8. When I heard that Queen Kristin was playing Velma in the live version, I was beyond excited, and had no doubt that she would slay hard out. Call me clairvoyant, because I was totally correct. She was absolutely flawless and amazing, and while Michelle Pfeiffer was super incredible, there's just no beating the Broadway perfection that is Kristin Chennoweth (well, at least in my books).

VERDICT: Live Version

Seaweed - Elijah Kelley v Ephraim Sykes

To be honest, because they approached the role in a similar way, it's kinda hard to differentiate between the two Seaweed portrayals, which makes this decision extra difficult to make. Which is why I'm going to be a total cop out and not make it at all. It's official, we have our first tie. I mean, come on, they both killed it, what choice do I have?

VERDICT: Both

Penny Lou Pingleton - Amanda Bynes v Ariana Grande

 

If you're not familiar with the movie version, you'd think that this would be an obvious choice, but surprisingly, Amanda Bynes doesn't play a bad Penny Lou Pingleton. I mean sure, she really can't sing at all and they use a ton of auto tune, but her acting is pretty damn good. However, I'm going to give this one to Ariana because despite that, she was still a way better all-rounder.

VERDICT: Live Version

Amber Von Tussell - Brittany Snow v Dove Cameron

When I heard that Dove Cameron was playing Amber in 'Hairspray Live', I was once again super excited. I've seen 'Liv and Maddie' and 'Descendants' and low key stalked her relationship with Ryan McCartan (which I'm super sad is over), so I was pretty up on her capabilities, so it's really no surprise that she killed it. I mean, Brittany Snow is fabulous and I love her, but Dove just upped the sass and crushed the vocals and really gave me no choice but to crown her as the ultimate Amber.

VERDICT: Live Version

Corny Collins - James Marsden v Derek Hough

To be honest, until I saw the live version, I didn't really realise how good James Marsden was at playing Corny Collins. I'm not saying Derek Hough was bad, because he certainly wasn't, it's just that Corny literally wasn't even on my radar while watching Hairspray Live, whereas in the movie, his one liners and allegiance with Tracy were some of my favourite parts. I mean Derek Hough danced and acted well enough, and while, try as he might, he's not exactly much of a singer, that wasn't really the reason I didn't pay him much attention. James Marsden just brought a certain charisma that wasn't too outrageously over the top that made Corny Collins awesome, so I really have to go with him on this one.

VERDICT: Movie Version

Prudence Pingleton - Allison Janney v Andrea Martin

To be honest, I was low key disappointed with Mrs Pingleton in Hairspray Live, however this has absolutely nothing to do with Andrea Martin's portrayal. Allison Janney in the film plays her totally hard-line and dictator-y, while Andrea Martin in the live version is super over the top, both interpretations being ones with merit. However, the real problem for me in Hairspray Live was her severe lack of screen time. In the movie, I feel like Penny's mum is always popping up and trying to ruin her life which brings with it absolute hilarity, while in the live version, she was barely even a minor role. Therefore, this one goes to the queen of supporting characters Allison Janney (seriously, she's in everything).

VERDICT: Movie Version

Little Inez - Taylor Parks v Shahadi Wright Joseph

Again, this one is a pretty tough call. I remember back in the day being super blown away by Taylor Parks in the movie, and after rewatching it several times at the ripe old age of 18, I am still incredibly impressed. While watching Hairspray Live, I also thought Shahadi's Little Inez was great, however perhaps didn't have the same vocal and acting maturity as Taylor did in the film, which is understandable considering she's 3 years younger. So taking age in to account, I'm going to once again opt out of this one and just say it's a tie.

VERDICT: Both

And that's basically everyone involved who's worth mentioning! According to my probably inaccurate maths, I'm pretty that's 7 all, which means that both casts tied, however I'm not that annoying, and am going to just come out and say that personally I prefer the movie version over 'Hairspray Live'. It's not everyday that a really good movie musical comes along, so when it does, you have to cherish it. Saying that, I am in no way insinuating that 'Hairspray Live' is bad, because I honestly really enjoyed it, but for some reason it just felt slightly more abridged than the film.  However, interestingly enough, I often find live productions of 'Hairspray' to be a little bit lack luste (probably because I've been spoiled with a super amazing film version), and Hairspray Live certainly didn't fit into that category, so is still definitely worth checking out. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that Hairspray is awesome in every capacity, and that the 2007 film and 2016 live event should both be appreciated in their own right. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Golden Globes 2017: Best and Worst Dressed

Hello again readers, and WELCOME TO 2017! Yes, I am super delayed in welcoming in the new year, but I plan to nip that in the bud, and take advantage of the fact that I'm no longer a high school student completing the HSC by posting a lot more frequently. To be honest, my plan was to kick off the new year with a round up of some of the best memes of 2016 (a la Dan Howell), but I was literally so over everything that happened last year that I couldn't bring myself to write it (also I'm incredibly lazy, so there's that). Instead, I thought, why not immerse myself in the 2017 awards season right off the bat and critique some of the best and worst of the red carpet fashion at this year's Golden Globes? If you missed it, the show started off with literally one of the most epic openings ever, chock full of movie and TV show references courtesy of host Jimmy Fallon (which you can watch here), a contained a whole lot of heartfelt and crazy amazing celebrity speeches. However, I'm not talking about anything of substance today, because who wants to discuss what actors said or did when we can just judge them based on what they wore? My feminist self is compelled to include a disclaimer that I am obviously actually kidding. No, the real reason I'm talking about the fashion is because I'm trash and can't be bothered to do a full length round up, so you'll have to settle for this. Anyway, intro complete, here are my fashion picks . . .

Best Dressed

Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell slayed so hard on the carpet at the Golden Globes this year that I can't even deal. Her dress kind of fuses 80's outerwear with funky modern evening wear, and while it's slightly unconventional, I have to say, it totally works. This black sparkly number is honestly goals, and despite the fact that she wasn't even nominated, Kristen really went above and beyond to steal the show. Massive kudos to her!

Reese Witherspoon

Can we all just take a moment to come to terms with the fact that Reese Witherspoon is 40? 40?!? I'm 18 years old and she literally looks younger than me! Honestly, how is that even possible? Anyway, I digress. She looked amazing at the Golden Globes, and not just because she looks 20 years younger than she actually is, but because she totally brought her A game to the carpet this year. Yellow is a hard colour to wear well, but she 100% nailed it by picking a sorbet-y shade and a dress that's cut is all kinds of cute. Plus, did I mention the woman doesn't age? All in all, a definite winner.

Naomie Harris

I would be lying if I said I knew who this woman is (even after a brief Google search), but what I do know is that Naomie was literal goals on this year's Golden Globes carpet. She obviously felt the need to dress thematically and look as much like an actual Golden Globe award as possible to compensate for the fact that she wasn't nominated for one, and that certainly paid off. She looks like an elegant, fiery mermaid and I absolutely love it. Hats off to Naomie!

Brie Larson

I guess in some ways the pressure was on this year for Brie Larson, because in 2016 she not only slayed the awards season by winning a Golden Globe and an Oscar like it was no big deal, but her red carpet fashion game was equally as strong. However, I am pleased to say that in 2017, Brie has not let us down. She looked absolutely amazing, with a killer dress, 20's bombshell inspired hair and perfect make-up, I mean, what else could you ask for? Plus, I love that she literally didn't pose at all but just stood there and smiled, because she knew that she looked fabulous enough to drop the gimmick and stand and slay. Honestly, red carpet goals.

Emma Stone

Emma Stone's fashion game is often on point, and the Golden Globes was absolutely no different. She looked so pretty and elegant and amazing that I once again cannot handle it, and I love that she low key dressed in keeping with her film 'La La Land''s title track 'City of Stars' (whether it was intentional or not). Her absolute slayage on the red carpet is totally complemented by the fact that she won the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy Film, so I'd pretty much say she stole the entire night. Overall, literal perfection.

Worst Dressed

Sarah Jessica Parker

I seriously don't even know where to begin. Sarah Jessica Parker, what the hell? Why are you wearing a wedding dress from an op-shop, and more importantly, why didn't you repair the fabric on the shoulders, which has obviously been ripped off? This look is a literal mess, and I'm sorry, but what is going on with your hair? At first I thought the only possible explanation was that it was some sort of Princess Leia reference to honour Carrie Fisher's memory, but apparently, it was an ode to the hairstyle her mother had on her wedding day. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Here's the thing Sarah Jessica Parker, 1) Your mother probably got married a super long time ago, which means you were always bound to look outdated and weird, and 2) What would posses you to recreate how your mother looked on her wedding day? That's kinda odd, and the Golden Globes is definitely not the setting, especially if you're a nominee and are therefore guaranteed screen time. I'm sorry, but I literally like nothing about this.

Natalie Portman

Remember how I said it's hard to pull off yellow? Well folks, here's a prime example of how not to wear it. I'm super sorry Natalie Portman because I know that you're hella talented, but this dress really just doesn't work. I read somewhere that it was apparently an ode to Jackie Kennedy, but if we've learned anything from the fashion disaster that was Sarah Jessica Parker's 2017 Golden Globes look, it's that paying homage to anything and anyone on the red carpet is usually not a good idea, even if you portrayed her in your most recent film. I understand that she's pregnant, and that finding fashionable maternity wear is a difficult feat, but this is not how to do it. An unflatteringly oversized, mustard yellow sack of a caftan is never a good idea, let alone a good choice to wear to an awards show. On the plus side, her hair and make up look super nice, but unfortunately that's not enough to save this look. Sorry Natalie, I'm sure you'll slay next time!

Felicity Jones

I am all for embracing inner youth and frivolity through fashion, but I'm sorry Felicity Jones, this is just a step too far. It's one thing to give off a youthful aura in what you choose to wear, however if you look like a 6 year old whose lost a fight against a cotton candy machine, then something's very wrong. That is unfortunately the case here. The dress is a strange mix between super young and sickeningly sweet due to the overwhelming pink tulle, and homely 16th century matron because of the relatively high neck and black detailing. Her hair and make-up are okay I guess, but to be honest I haven't really been given the opportunity to notice. Pretty much nothing goes, and it's all just too much. Better luck next time Felicity.

Anna Chlumsky

I honestly don't even know. Why Anna? Why? Why would you wear a terribly unflattering green sack to the Golden Globes? She literally looks like a poorly dressed swamp monster. The whole one shoulder thing kinda made it look like she was going for an Ancient Greek inspired look like those funky women in Hercules, but if that was her aim, I'm sad to say that she certainly did not reach it. The super harsh slicked back hair really doesn't help matters either, and overall, this look is very much a failure. Hopefully next awards show things turn out better for her.

Claire Foy

'The Crown' might've been a Golden Globes top contender this year, but Claire Foy's outfit choice certainly was not. This dress just makes me feel really sad and uncomfortable. She low key looks like she dresses up as a Disney princess for a living, but not a legit professional one, one of the dodgy copyright free rip offs you see in Times Square who've clearly purchased their costume from the closest $2 store. I have to say, kitting yourself from head to toe in sequins above the age of 8 is certainly a fashion risk, however not one that has paid off for her. The fact that it's that weird gross shade between pale pink and hot pink and has pirate-esque puffy sleeves really just makes things worse, and is really what tops off this cringe-worthy outfit. On the plus side, at least in this picture her horrible dress seems be making her strangely happy, so I guess to each their own.

And that's about all I have for you! Do you agree with my best and worst dressed candidates or think that I have no taste whatsoever? Whatever the answer, just try and overlook the fact that I've posted this literally over three weeks since the original awards show took place. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Best New(ish) Saturday Night Live Sketches

Hey hey blogosphere, welcome back! Given that the HSC is now officially dead and has been for some time, TV has become the predominant focus of my life as I covered pretty extensively in my last post. While I mainly waste away my hours tuning in to legit shows with a linear plot line, I do watch the occasional SNL episode every once in a while. Everyone ever always says that it's not as funny as it used to be and has gone down hill since it's hay-day, but honestly, I've always found it a bit hit and miss in terms of sketches. Sometimes they're super funny and relevant, and at other times cringe-worthy and weird. Well readers, get excited, because today, I'm going to save you the effort of watching countless skits on youtube and having to make your own decisions, and list for you some of the best sketches the new episodes of Saturday Night Live have to offer. In advance, you're totally welcome. Your lol-worthy material awaits . . .

Real Housewives of Disney - 2013

I honestly didn't know how accurate this sketch was until I saw my first 'Real Housewives of Beverley Hills' episode a few weeks ago (which, may I just say, did not disappoint). To paraphrase Lizzie McGuire, Disney princesses are honestly what dreams are made of, and reality TV is the perfect blend of total trash and televisual gold, so to combine the two was always going to be amazing. If you want to witness a smack down between Cinderella and Rapunzel, be slayed by Prince Charming's sassy quips and hear all about Jasmine's affair with Iago the parrot, then I highly suggest you check it out immediately.

Crucible Cast Party - 2016

This may actually just be one of my favourite videos ever created. And no, I'm not building it up too much. It's literally a song about the cast after party of a high school production of 'The Crucible', and lovingly makes fun of theatre kids and teenagers and musicals and it's just all too much I can't even deal. As an out and proud musical theatre geek who was actually in a high school production of 'The Crucible' this year, this music video was 100% right up my alley, however I guess if you're a home-schooled, 70 year old cynic whose never seen a musical in their life, then maybe this isn't the sketch for you. Regardless, in my opinion, it's absolutely amazing and you should definitely give it a go.

50 Shades of Grey Auditions - 2013

From the title, you can already tell this is a winner. Basically, in it, the SNL cast pretend to be awkward celebrity pairings auditioning for the movie. Have you ever wondered what Seth Rogen as Christian Grey and Tilda Swinton as Anastasia Steele would look like? Now's your chance to find out. The whole video's awkward and uncomfortable and honestly it's amazing. So please, I urge you, if you have a soul, hop on over and take a look.

High School Theatre Show - 2015

Once again, this is perhaps one of my favourite videos on the internet, and also revolves around a high school drama performance. Perhaps there is a pattern in my interests? Who would've guessed. Anyway, this skit basically parodies every "alternative" teenager ever who wants to make a change and protect social issues such as animal welfare and gender discrimination *cough* low key me *cough*, and does this in the form of a dramatic piece called 'Mirror to America - A Reflection of You'. Basically, it's tumblr in a nutshell. The accuracy of this sketch is actually amazing, and even though it's kinda sorta making fun of people like me who are heavily in to breaking down societal norms (although I don't take myself seriously at all or dress like an emotionally damaged recluse), I'm totally into it and am able to simultaneously relate to the super passionate teens and heckling audience members. Honestly, it's everything, and you need to watch it right now.

Hillary Actually - 2016

This was a segment on the most recent episode of SNL, and it is seriously the best. Literally every video with Kate McKinnon and Alec Baldwin as Hillary and Trump is the greatest, but this one has to take the cake with its epic popular culture references. Assuming that you're all alive and active participants in the western world, you should all be familiar with the Christmas classic 'Love Actually' (and if not, stop reading and go watch it because you're missing out). Remember that iconic scene when Keira Knightley's husband's best friend confesses his love to her using a series of massive flash cards? Well, SNL have recreated it for the holiday season, with 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (aka, Kate McKinnon). In it, she goes to members of the electoral college, and attempts to persuade to vote for anyone but Donald Trump on Monday the 19th (which sadly, in hindsight, we know didn't work). It's everything you could wish for in a video, and is something you must check out now.

So that's about all I have in stall for y'all. Have a fun binge watch of all of these sketches, and keep in mind that there are heaps of other funny ones that have been made over the years for you to move on to once you've finished with this elite selection. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

13 Stages of TV Show Obsession

Hello readers, and welcome back! I have a very exciting announcement to make - the HSC is officially over and I am free to live my life without the burden of secondary study and can therefore post way more often than I have been! Today, I'm going to talk about a subject close to everyone's hearts - television. With all my newly obtained free time, I've been dedicating my days to watching every TV series Netflix has to offer. This excessive binge watching in conjunction with my rather addictive personality has resulted in what was supposed to be a harmless pastime morphing into a hardcore obsession. So that got me thinking, where is the point of no return? When does entertainment dominate your whole life? That, ladies and gentlemen, is the case I have decided to crack for you today. So, without further ado, may I present to you the 13 stages you will go through on your way to total tele-visual obsession . . .

Stage 1: Googling Behind-the-scenes Facts

Did you know that the pictures and videos used in the 'Orange is the New Black' credits are of real life prisoners? And that Piper Kerman, the writer of the book whose story the show is based upon, also features in it? I do. Why? Because finding out these fun tid bits are what this first stage is all about. It's harmless, at first. But then you start getting hooked and want to know everything there is to possibly know about everything that goes on while the cameras are off. However, this is only the beginning. You can still turn back now.

 

Stage 2: Watching Cast and Crew Interviews

You know you're about to get in deep when you want to check whether the connection between the characters on the show is genuine for the actors in real life or purely fictional. If they totally hate each other? There's hope for you yet. And if they don't? You're instantly propelled into the next stage of obsession.

 

Stage 3: Following the Entire Cast on All Social Media Platforms

If the cast interviews are on point, you are pretty much guaranteed to want to stalk them on every form of social media to know what's going on in their lives, and to see how much your new favourite cast hang out off set. Even if they never post, it's just nice to know that you'll be there...waiting...for if they ever do.

 

Stage 4: Watching Other Shows Because the Actors from Shows you Love are in Them

Not to brag, but filmography stalking is my specialty. This method is pretty much how I find every TV show and movie ever. Considering you now follow the cast members from your favourite new show on social media, it's pretty easy to find out what their other projects are. Honestly, I started watching 'Scream Queens' because it had Addie from 'Unfabulous', True from 'True Jackson VP', Cat from 'Victorious' and of course Rachel Berry from 'Glee', and now it's one of my go to programs. Television inspiring television is a truly beautiful thing. And let's face it, if your favourite characters alone are enough of a draw card, your dedication to the show they're originally from is getting pretty intense by this point.

Stage 5: You're Willing to Give Up Sleep to Fit More of the Show into your Day

If you're binge watching your new go to show on Netflix, loving life, and then casually glance at your phone only to discover that it's actually 4:30am, you're in pretty deep. What's even worse is when after looking at the time, you're still not compelled to stop watching, because going to sleep would just mean you take more time away from watching the goings-on of your new fictional family.

Stage 6: You Talk About the Show All the Time to the Point that Others Get Super Bored, but you just Don't Care

Considering you've officially given up sleep and are totally inundated with your new favourite program 100% of the time, on the rare occasion that you actually do talk to other humans, all you will be able to talk about is the show. Whether it's intentional or not, it's all you will be able to think about. So when something comes up in conversation that even vaguely resembles a plot point or a line of dialogue, you'll just start rattling off facts and getting heavily into character analysis, while the normal people in the room will be totally confused and completely zone out. That's friendship.

Stage 7: Show Slang and Phrases Have Become a Part of your Vocabulary

I knew when I casually started using HIMYM terms such as 'revertigo' and 'woo girls', and saluting a rubbish bin whenever I saw the sign 'general waste' that there really wasn't any going back. Be prepared for no one to understand a word you're saying.

Stage 8: You have both Canon and Non-Canon Ships

Shipping canon couples is just the beginning, but when your ships become non-canon? That's when things get real. I mean, it's easy to root for a couple that the show creators have already established for you, like for instance 'The OC's' Summer and Seth, but when you start to get creative and ship say Ryan and Seth, you've left the show's realms of fictional reality and entered into fictional fiction, which is a super hardcore layer of fandom.

Stage 9: You Read or Create Tumblr Conspiracies

That realm of fictional fiction I was talking about with the non-canon ships? Times that by 30, and you've reached tumblr conspiracy theory level. They're actually the best, and stem from fans deconstructing their new go-to show, over-analysing everything, and forming connections that range from plausible to outrageous, and each are just as amazing as the next. I may or may not have posted a few 'Stranger Things' conspiracy theories myself (because seriously where is Eleven?!).

Stage 10: You have a Dance to the Theme Song

It doesn't have to be full on choreography, but certainly can be. It can range from ethereal hand movements to the 'Gossip Girl' theme, to a full on dance routine to the 'Murder She Wrote' theme where you skip around and act out murder mystery scenarios in your lounge room. Whatever the case, by this stage you're pretty invested.

Stage 11: When Promos for Next Week's Episode Aren't Enough, You Look Up all the Spoilers on the Show's Wikia

Your commitment to the show is obvious when you realise just how much you need to know everything about it. Ordinarily, spoilers are a bad thing, but when the 30 second promo just isn't cutting it and you absolutely must find out exactly what is going down in the next episode, the show's wikia is your next pit stop. Sometimes it has spoilers about the next 5 episodes to come, and if the show is filmed in front of a live studio audience, you have first hand confirmation of the plot lines about to go down. Honestly, I'm not even kidding, Glee Wikia is still my home page despite the show having been off the air for a year. Obsessive habits die hard.

Stage 12: You Want to Name a Pet or a Child After a Character

This next stage is characterised by the integration of fiction into your reality. If the characters in the show you are obsessing over are so phenomenal and profoundly impactful (let's pretend that's a word) that you want them to be a part of your own world, the least you can do is name your child - or fur child - after them.

Stage 13: You Let the Show Influence Your Career Choices 

 

The final stage involves the ultimate marrying together of fiction and reality, this being when a show means so much to you that you let it dictate your career choices with absolutely no regrets. As a youth, I'm not gonna lie, after binge watching 'Bones', I super wanted to become a forensic anthropologist despite the fact that I hated studying science. Why? Because TV made it look hella interesting. Of course, now I'm aiming for the way more realistic goal of making it on Broadway, but for some people, they never change their mind, and morph fiction and reality together forever.

So that's about it! If you are exhibiting any of these symptoms, then I hate to break it to you, but you are an addict and it's time to embrace it. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Stop "whingeing" and just do your job: Why this journalist needs to suck it up

Hello readers, and welcome back! As I've spoken about before, having just graduated from high school, I am now forced to undergo the hellish torture that is the HSC. The examinations commenced just under a week ago on Thursday the 13th of October, and in the first two days, everyone in the state of New South Wales was able to knock over 2 units of English. You'd think we'd all be elated and celebrating hard out, right? Wrong. Upon returning home from our exams, we all went online to find that "journalist" Rachel Corbett had posted an "opinion" piece (please take note of my sassy use of inverted commas) on News.com advising students to, and I quote, "stop whingeing (sic) and just do [their] HSC", before going on to individually target kids who have posted on Facebook's HSC Discussion Page 2016 (which is amazing by the way, you totally have to check it out if you already haven't). At the time this article was released, of course I was furious, and my first instincts were to a) send her a string of handwritten complaint letters or b) furiously blog about it. However, in the end, I opted for neither of those options, as in response to the understandable backlash she received from students, parents and teachers alike, Rachel went MIA on all social media services, so I assumed that she was overwhelmed by the hate coming her way, and honestly, I didn't want to make her suicidal or anything. Well, any trepidation I had before has totally vanished, because today, she released a follow up article, in which she painted herself as the victim of supposed vicious online attacks from students. So now, in a fit of rage, I am comprehensively refuting the points she made in relation to our entire cohort in not one, but two articles, through the age-old medium of online blogging. So without further ado, here is my response...

I'm going to start by deconstructing Rachel Corbett's first article, which was originally titled 'Stop whingeing and just do your HSC: Why these kids need to suck it up' (get my reference in the title of this post now?), before being re-published as 'HSC 2016 Facebook group reveals some disturbing things' in her attempt to not only further shift the blame on to us, but to fix her misspelling of the word 'whinging' which was embarrassingly picked up by the same 17 and 18 year olds she was attempting to critique (irony is honestly an amazing thing).

The article begins when she talks about how she has "just lost an hour of [her] life trawling the posts and comments on 'HSC Discussion Group 2016'". First of all, why? Rachel, you can't blame us for your choice to scroll through a page that's intended audience is, as the title suggests, students completing their HSC in 2016, and then have the audacity to critique something you were never supposed to see. Frankly, if you don't like what you see, leave.

She then goes on to say that looking through these posts has made her aware of how "out of touch" she is with "the next generation". This is pretty much the only correct statement she makes, and should be where the article ends.

After that, she starts to pick on kids individually, and forces a bunch of multifaceted students into reductive, stereotypical labels upon first glance, basically damning intersectional celebration of uniqueness in favour of ignorantly judging books by their covers in true second wave feminist fashion (way to show your age).

She deems a female student "the whinger" after she wrote a post on the page talking about how students should receive counselling after enduring the "wrath of the HSC", should have an extra hour to complete the paper, and that teachers should be required to sit the HSC themselves before teaching the course. First of all, this post was not intended to be taken entirely seriously, which Rachel Corbett would have understood if she weren't, as she said, "out of touch" with the vernacular and humour of our generation. Secondly, the student actually brings up some good points, which of course Miss Corbett systematically attempted to shut down.

Rachel said that if a person needs couselling throughout their HSC that they're going to basically fail in life, which will be a "real wake up call" for them. Obviously she doesn't remember, but newsflash, the HSC is hella stressful. Not only because of the exams themselves, but because of the pressure put upon students throughout them, and the impact that they potentially have upon getting in to the university course you want, and ultimately, your career (or at least that's what teachers and adults make it out to be). So, at perhaps the most stressful time in a young adult's life when they have to endure hormonal changes, evolving friendships and relationships and the uncertainty of life after high school, we are also bombarded with a bunch of exams said to dictate our future, and depending on how cool your parents or teachers are, pressure both at school and at home to get a good result. I don't know about you, but I find all of this pretty intense and definitely see how this could negatively impact someone's mental health, and therefore don't think counselling is the most outrageous suggestion in the world, although Rachel Corbett would obviously disagree with me.

To the suggestion that students be given an extra hour to complete the exam, Rachel says that if we were given three extra hours, "people would still be complaining". Well actually no, no we wouldn't. According to the Advanced Healthcare Network, people aged between 18 and 25 can write about 33 memorised words per minute under exam conditions, meaning that in Paper 2 for example, students would produce three 1,320 word essays. However, considering that students are being asked to not only answer an unseen question, but refer to two or more texts, provide information regarding audience, purpose and context for each and include textual analysis using around 6 to 12 quotes per essay, this mere 1,320  word limit is simply not enough. My pre-prepared modules essays, for example, are all over 1,500 words in my attempt to cram a year's worth of content in to one exam, and that's without taking in to account my response to the question we get on the day. Therefore, this means that in the HSC, I am practically required to defy science. But, with an extra hour, I would have absolutely no need for complaint. So bam, Rachel Corbett. Try arguing with scientific evidence.

Finally, to the young girl's suggestion that teachers take the HSC before teaching the course, Corbett replied that "everyone who teaches HSC subjects HAS taken the exam" and that "that's how they ended up in the privileged position of teaching someone who thinks they're the only one who's ever been through it". First of all, tone it down, because that statement was unnecessarily sassy. And I'm sorry, but you know you're old when you're calling out those darn, narrow-minded youths for being too self oriented. We're not idiots, we do understand that our teachers have done the HSC or its fancy private school equivalent (*cough* international baccalaureate *cough*) back in the day, and I don't think this girl was for one second insinuating that our teachers are unqualified (or if she was, it was obviously a form of jest that you're once again too "out of touch" to pick up on). But, over the years, the HSC has changed pretty dramatically. There are new texts and new exam formats, the difficulty and ambiguity of which has increased over time. For instance, English paper 1 in the late 90's that Rachel Corbett herself would have completed (assuming she even did it) was much more straight forward, and only included one reading and comprehension text, a broad creative writing stimulus, and a straight forward essay question which students had 50 minutes to complete as opposed to the current 40. Assuming most of our teachers completed their HSC earlier than the late 90's, their exams would have been different again. Now, questions have become more specific, time allocations have changed, and frankly, creativity has been quashed, these changes being something teachers should experience first hand if teaching the course, in order to understand the plights and challenges of students today. Also, as proven by Rachel Corbett herself, the calibre of the HSC obviously wasn't as high as it is now, considering a woman in her 30's who completed the examination is unable to spell the word "whinging", and goes on to ask, "Is the HSC a punish?" as if it makes sense.

Her next target is a boy who she deems to be "the failed stuntman", who posted the photo below on the HSC Discussion Page with the caption 'How to get out of HSC 101: Break your wrist after the first exam ends by jumping off a moving car'.

  
















Okay, number one, the fact that you call him a 'failed' stuntman implies that in order to be successful, he would've had to die and not merely injure himself. Just to be clear, are you advocating teen suicide? Because so far, it seems that you're against counselling and are rooting for this boy to jump off a moving vehicle and kill himself, just saying. Number two, if you honestly think that he deliberately did this with the intention of getting out of having to sit his HSC exams, you are honestly super dumb. Once again, you are making apparent the fact that you are "out of touch" with modern humour (or any type of humour for that matter) abundantly clear. He was making light of the outcome of his situation, which I personally think is a healthy thing to do, and it was pretty obvious to anyone with working brain cells that this was all a joke, so maybe get some perspective.

Rachel's next victims were the people who fell under the categories of "cheaters" or "pathetic trolls", as she stated that these included the students "stupid" enough to post using their "real name" on a "public page" asking questions such as 'How can I cheat on the HSC?' or creating memes and sending them to Board of Studies Director Tom Alegounarias. In addition to that, she provides teenagers with the oh so original platitude that "life isn't all about posting on Snapchat and hanging out with your mates". Salutes for captain obvious all round, because it's not like we haven't heard that one before. Criticising teenagers for their dependence on technology? It's the oldest trick in the book. And hey, at least we use our electronics to access the online dictionary and know how to spell. Regarding the "cheaters" and "pathetic trolls", I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot in this ranty excuse for a blog post, but these are jokes not intended to be taken seriously! No one is actually dumb enough to genuinely ask how to cheat during the HSC. Everyone is just stressed and overwhelmed, and making light of the lack of hope they are feeling by humorously suggesting that cheating is their only solution. But, I repeat, no one is actually walking in to the examination room with the intention of cheating (or at least, no one who is publicly posting about it online). And the memes being created by students? I have to say, they're pretty funny. I mean, I wouldn't expect you to get them Rachel Corbett since you're so "out of touch", but people who actually have a sense of humour are guaranteed to have a laugh. Plus, they celebrate what the page is all about - using the powers of the internet to share in one another's experience of the horror that is the HSC. Most adults have been saying how cool this is that we all get to share our opinions with each other, as they didn't get to do this when they were doing the HSC and had to suffer alone. But oh no, Rachel disagrees. She thinks that we shouldn't make fun of the completely ridiculous short stories that we're asked to analyse comparing boats to whale skeletons (honestly, read text two here for a lol) and instead "suck it up" silently. Well I'm sorry, but no.

She ended her tirade by saying that the "whole reason the HSC is difficult is because it's the way we control competition for university placements", and that there is "nothing wrong with being asked to dedicate a couple of months of your life to preparing for an exam", before going on to highlight that the HSC is not "some kind of conspiracy cooked up by the establishment to break defenseless teenagers and make their life a misery", and finally ending with the kind words "Oh, and one more thing...grow up".

I agree with the fact that there is nothing wrong with taking the time to study for exams, and as a student who has been (despite not needing an ATAR for her future career aspiration might I add), I take offense to the immediate assumption that most people my age aren't. However, the difficulty of the HSC is not justified by its impact upon university placements, and in fact, that is perhaps the exam's largest flaw. Australian end of school exams are some of the hardest in the world, as there is nowhere near as much pressure placed upon America's SAT's or the UK's A Levels. Those are merely another set of yearly exams, whereas the HSC is the most important test an Australian student will ever take. In Asian countries, end of school exams have absolutely no impact upon university placement, as each university has their own set of entrance exams, which allows you to specialise in one particular area directly relevant to the course you are applying for. Therefore, instead of carrying subjects that you may not necessarily be good at to make up 10 units, or learning heaps of content that will never benefit you in the real world, you are only required to take one, highly relevant exam that matters. Plus, the idea that standardised testing has the ability to dictate a person's intellect, and from that, their entrance in to university is absurd, so while the HSC is not "cooked up" to "break defenceless teenagers and make their life a misery", it is certainly succeeding at it. Finally, I think the only person who needs to do some "grow[ing] up" is Rachel Corbett, considering she's the one who made a total fool of herself on national television and got evicted from Big Brother after 4 days, and now desperately attempts to regain attention by spending her time scrolling through and judging a bunch of teenagers who have their whole life ahead of them.

Understandably, I wasn't the only HSC student annoyed by Rachel Corbett's scathing critique of our generation, and so of course, the memes and attention of the HSC Discussion Group 2016 turned to her. Honestly, over the past few days, I have seen some good quality content, examples of which I have included below for your enjoyment:

Plus, the group managed to find some of Rachel Corbett's previous articles, which will seriously make you question her journalistic integrity (kidding, we already knew that was nonexistent), which I have also included below:

And my personal favourite, which I feel sums up her whole opinion piece:

All of this also proves that our entire year group have put more effort in to conducting research than she did into her "wasted" hour of uninformed scrolling. Talk about that awkward moment when a bunch of unqualified 17 year olds are better at your job than you are. 

This now brings us to her article released today entitled 'I never expected a reaction like this'. First of all, really? I mean, you literally spent your entire opinion piece roasting a bunch of super stressed students with mountains of pent up frustration for roasting the Board of Studies, and then don't expect to be roasted in return? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that chain of roasting out. In the article, Rachel basically talks about how she's received a lot of backlash for her original piece (understandably so), and basically goes on to highlight how much high school students suck for sending her "offensive garbage". Admittedly, some of the online trolling did include death threats and cancer jokes, and while this may be a step too far, there is absolutely no way that the threats being made were of a serious nature, but rather the intense reaction of disgruntled, enraged teenagers who felt that they had been wronged by an adult they hoped would be on their side during this time of extreme stress. However, amidst these overreactions, there have been a lot of genuine expressions of concern from students, parents and teachers (not unlike this one) that have been totally ignored, probably because Rachel Corbett has no idea how to respond to people who actually have a leg to stand on. She 'apologises' in the article for people's perceptions of her having "trivialised mental health issues" rather than apologising for actually trivialising them herself, once again placing the blame on everyone else for their misinterpretation of her apparently perfect article. She then goes on to criticise parents who have been contacting her to say that she has been "parading [her]self as a 17-year-old to gain access to a page for high school students", defending herself by stating that "the discussion page is public". Um, sorry to burst your bubble Rachel, but no it isn't. A handful of posts can be seen by the general public, but a user cannot fully access the page without asking to join it and being accepted by current members. So either Rachel did actually parade as a student to view the posts and write a scathing commentary incognito, or she didn't and only looked at the handful of posts publicly available to her and wrote a totally uninformed article about something she's never fully seen. Either way, it doesn't look good.

I think I've finally covered everything I've wanted to say. Thank you for sticking with me through this very long-winded rant, and I profusely apologise to any of my non-Australian readers who probably have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. I think my biggest problem with Rachel's articles (aside from the fact that they're totally wrong) is that they were released during the HSC, meaning that on top of the stress us students are already forced to face, we have to be met with this brutal attack. But whatever, now that I've gotten my arguments out, I can totally forget about it. Just before I finish up, I wanted to wish everyone in Year 12 this year good luck for the rest of their exams, because guys, we've almost finished! Oh, and one more thing...Rachel Corbett...grow some journalistic integrity. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx