Tis' the Season

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! Yes, it is indeed the 25th of December, and yes, I am writing a blog post. Talk about dedication! If it makes you feel better, it is Christmas night, so all of the festivities are pretty much over (don't worry, I'm not that sad that I would spend my Christmas day blogging- that's what the rest of the year is for).

It has just occurred to me that I've never really spoken about myself on my blog. Sure, there was that one time I did that little X Factor journalism post, but that's about it. So, what better time to try it out than Christmas day? Because I'm pretty cool and super smart, I've decided that I'm going to do what I did with the 12 Days of Blogmas, except make it applicable to me. If you're kind of confused (which I bet you are, because I suck at explaining things), just read on, and it will (hopefully) become more clear.

Presents

Day 1 of Blogmas was all about the weirdest Christmas presents that people have received. Well, in my opinion all of the presents I got were pretty awesome. So, let's take a look at the gift hall I received this year (cue evil laugh).

As you can see, I got quite a bit of stuff (yay). I got clothes, and DVD's and a whole lot of Sims Expansion packs (which means I'm set for the rest of the holidays). But, as with any Christmas, I had a couple of stand out presents which were pretty awesome. 

When you first lay eyes on this, you may assume this is a just a normal curling iron. Well your assumption is wrong, because this little thing is way cooler than that. All you have to do is basically stand there and the machine does the work. I'm pretty excited about this (though of course I'm not going to use it for a while because I don't plan on leaving the house for the next few days). 

As you can see because I'm sure you all can read, this is my brand new polaroid camera. I know, it's pretty awesome. Yes, I'm aware that these are rather popular at the moment, and that having this may now bring me into the realm of mainstream (although knowing me, I don't think that's possible), but I don't care. I've legit wanted one of these for as long as I can remember. Instant photos are awesome! As if you'd just get a digital camera and wait for all the photos to be developed, and go through that entire money wasting process when you can just get a photo that slips right out of your camera, am I right?

Food

Day 2 of Blogmas was all about the coolest Christmas recipes. Well, I can certainly contribute to this one, because in my super biased opinion, all of our food at home was super amazeballs.

Warning: I'm about to have a massive brag session. But you know what, for someone who can't do anything remotely crafty, I think I did a pretty awesome job with my decorating. Because I think everyone was probably afraid I would burn the house down, I was officially put on decorating duty. Here are some of the results:

This is my awesome tray of Christmassy cupcakes. Did I make them? Of course not. But you can bet I decorated them. You'd be surprised how hard thick frosting is to handle, but I worked with it and made, what in my super biased eyes, is a masterpiece. After slaving away for hours (or maybe only 1 hour, but whatever) with fondant and sprinkles and all other sorts of Christmas themed add ons, I managed to make average looking cupcakes. I'm pretty proud of myself.

Now for achievement number 2:

Feast your eyes upon this tray of personalised, decorated gingerbread men. Once again, I didn't make these (obviously). These were pretty time consuming to decorate. And yes, they are all dressed according to their personalities (because I'm a really weird person with nothing else to do on Christmas Eve). There's a geeky one, there's an angel, there's a Santa and there's even a Rachel Berry. However, my favourite would have to be the Christmas elf.

I'm pretty proud of my messy fondant work.

Sorry, that's all the food I'm posting. The rest of it was just your usual savoury stuff, and I think that my decorating is more interesting than anything else. You're welcome.

Televisual Viewing

Day 3 of Blogmas talked about some of the best Christmas movies of all time. Did we watch these ones, or did we opt for something else? You'll have to read on and see.

Well yes, of course we did. As Christmas started to come to a close, the entire family plonked in the lounge room and watched 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation'. See, I was definitely true to my word. However, we also watched a few other interesting things. Have you guys heard of Jonathan Creek? My guess is probably not (because you're not all massive nerds). Anyway, on television normally they never show any of the Christmas specials, and I mean ever. But, this Christmas, bam, three in a row. Of course we took advantage of that (for several hours). Just reminding you once again, my Christmas is cooler (and geekier) than yours.

Christmas Tree

Day 4 of Blogmas listed some of the most creative Christmas trees ever. Well, I don't know if ours was exactly creative or lived up to any of the ones on the list, but here's a picture of it at the very least.

It's a pretty traditional Christmas tree, not exactly one of the most creative, but it fulfils its purpose. We've had it for years, and it's still standing tall and doing us proud. Plus, the dog hasn't tried to eat it once. 

Christmas Lights

Day 5 of Blogmas was all about some of the awesomest Christmas lights. Again, that's a lot of pressure. But here's what we managed to come up with:

Sure, they're not the best Christmas decorations ever (nor is this the best photography ever- my bad). But hey, at least we tried (which is more than I can say for the rest of the street). We should at least get some bonus points for that.

Awkward Photo

Day 6 of Blogmas got into some of the most awkward family Christmas photos. Our family has tons of awkward Christmas stories, but photos? Not so much. TBH, this year I couldn't even get anyone to be in any photo, at all. But, just for the purpose of this section in the blog post, I managed to grab a hold of my (unwilling) dog and take an awkward selfie with her. I know, I'm great.

Yep, that was the awkward face I mustered for the love of blogging. My dog's looking pretty awkward too so that's a bonus.

Ornaments

Day 7 of Blogmas was all about the DIY Christmas ornaments. As I've mentioned in many of my posts before, any art besides the performing arts I tend to struggle with. But, we do have some super cool Christmas ornaments on our tree (which are very much store bought), so I'll just post them to make up for it.

Excitingly, when we went to New York way back in 2007, we went to the Disney store and basically bought every Christmas ornament they sold. So, take a look at our awesome Disney collection. Feel free to be jealous.

Who's feeling inferior now?

Dress-Ups

Day 8 of Blogmas talked about some of the strangest Christmas dress ups. Unfortunately, the only person in our family who dresses up weirdly on Christmas day is me (how sad is that?). Low and behold, the oversized Gingerbread night dress courtesy of Peter Alexander's.

A sound investment, I assure you.

However, other dress ups were made using the art of photoshop. Please, enjoy this picture of my dog in a Santa hat.

And here's what our small little family would look like as elves. 

Feel free to let your jealousy seep in now. 

Traditions

Day 9 of Blogmas went into great detail about some of the weird Christmas traditions that celebrities get involved with every yuletide season. Well, until I become a famous Broadway legend, I'm still not a celebrity. But, instead, I'll just talk about some of our Christmas traditions as a substitute.

Our main tradition occurs on Christmas Eve. I spend the day watching old Disney Christmas specials (I can't honestly tell you that a few of the old Barbie movies weren't thrown in there as well- don't judge me), while my mother and grandmother cook up a storm. Although this year I helped to decorate, my mind was mainly focussed on the television (as it should be).

The only real Christmas day traditions are that I get lots of presents, eat until I feel like I'm gonna die, and sing a lot of 'Glee' Karaoke (which, let's face it, I do pretty much every weekend). Sorry to disappoint.

Music

Day 10 of Blogmas talks all about the ideal Christmas playlist. Well, to be honest, I kinda let everybody know what I'll be playing on Christmas day in the blog post I've already done. But, I'll screen shot it anyway for good measure.

See, I was true to my word.

?

Day 11 of Blogmas was the whole 'Beneath the Santa Suit' interview, so that's pretty hard to replicate. Instead, to make it up to you, I've decided to post this picture of a unicorn.

You're welcome.

GIF Substitute

Day 12 of Blogmas rated some of the worst Santa Claus's ever to grace shopping centres. Again, this one is super hard to replicate. Absolutely no one in our family dressed up as Santa (thankfully), so I can't really do this one either. How will I make up for it you ask? With a random collection of awesome gifs.

Again, you're welcome. 

That's the end of my Christmas Day post. Once again, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Now stop reading my blog and go enjoy the rest of it. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

12th Day of Blogmas: Worst Santa Imitators

Hello again avid blog readers! I'm very sorry to say that this blog post marks the 12th and final day of Blogmas. I know you all must be super distraught to hear this news. But, may I remind you, Christmas is tomorrow!!!!!

Anyway, for the final post, I thought it would be appropriate following yesterday's little Beneath the Santa Suit interview to rate some of the worst Santas found around the globe. Without further ado, here they are . . .

1. 

Well, at least you can say that this guy looks the part. However, it seems that he's not particularly good at his job. Making 2 children cry at one is actually quite an achievement, although probably an occupational hazard. Maybe he should consider a different line of work, one where it doesn't really matter whether or not you bring children to tears, or even better, encourages it. 

2. 

This is actually one of the creepiest things I've ever seen before in my life. What is that? That looks like a bearded zombie. If I were the head of a shopping centre, I would certainly not hire this guy to work for us. I'm actually surprised that the child in the photo isn't scarred for life, because I'm pretty sure I am. 

3. 

There are so many things wrong with this picture. First off, how can you be a red head, and then miraculously have a white beard? Second of all, since when did Santa where glasses? If the man can't see properly, how can he be entrusted with driving a sleigh? And most importantly, I think you know something's wrong when the person who's getting their Santa photo taken is older than Santa. 

4. 

This is just super, super disturbing. Santa is always associated with innocence and selflessness and the magic of Christmas, not perving at random women. It's just unnatural and wrong. If that has thoroughly disturbed me for the rest of my life, imagine how the little kids waiting next in line must be feeling. 

5. 

Wow, doesn't this look legit, and look at that enthusiasm. Let's get real, this guys's pretty bad at being Santa. He doesn't even care about what he's doing, well at least not enough to slap on a wig. Even the little boy he's with isn't buying it, and I don't blame him, I'd be laughing (or raging) too. 

6. 

This guy is one of the most unenthusiastic Santas I've ever seen. If I were their parents, I would definitely be demanding a refund immediately. The kid on the left of the photo can certainly feel the awkwardness. It kinda looks like this Santa's a massive pill popper, but that's just my opinion (and the opinion of anyone else with eyes). 

7. 

I feel sorry for that kid desperately trying to escape the clutch of Santa. I honestly don't blame him. I'd be in hysterics too if a living dead Santa was trying to attack me . Seriously though, just take a good look at that dude for a minute. If he doesn't scream zombie, I don't know what does. 

8. 

It's nice to see that certain shopping centres are becoming more open minded in regards to who they hire as their Santa for the year. Who knew that we would see cross dressing Santas so soon? You may be thinking 'hmm, now that's a bit harsh'. Though is it really? Just take a look at those racoon eyes. Some people might find his heavy eye make-up suspicious and shifty, but you know what, according to these photos, it seems creepy is in this Christmas season, so he fits right in. 

9. 

From this photo, you can basically learn this Santa's entire life story. Growing up, he was always the odd one out, going through life with the sole company of comic books. Now, in his old age, he's decided to spend his life grasping for his past youth, going about this by grasping onto little boys. Creepy much? I thought so. 

So that's the end of the list! I thought it would be nice to scar everyone for life once more before Christmas. You're welcome. Happy end of Blogmas everyone! And for tomorrow, I wish you guys the awesomest of Christmases. Seriously, have an amazeballs day! Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

11th Day of Blogmas: Beneath the Santa Suit

Hello again members of the blog reading universe! Today I have a super exciting entry of Blogmas for you. Believe it or not, I spent a day of my holidays trekking up to my local shopping centre and interviewing the man working at the Santa photo station. As it is the Christmas season, it was rather difficult to find a time in Santa's busy schedule, but when I did, he wouldn't stop talking. I legitimately conducted a 15 minute interview! Shout out to him (even though he more than likely won't be reading this). I thought, like the last interview I conducted, I might need to add little personal comments in just to add to the entertainment value, but this Santa did all that on his own. Without further ado, here's what went down . . .

Me: Hello Santa!

Santa: Hello Child.

Me: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak to me.

Santa: Not a problem. I'm always happy to speak to lovely children on my nice list. I have made that list, and checked it twice.

Me: I see what you did there Santa! Anyway, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Santa: No, ask away.

Me: Now first up, just wondering what Christmas movie would you say accurately represents your profession?

Santa: Ooh, that's a tough one. I can tell you which one doesn't, Bad Santa does not accurately represent me in my profession. But, it does represent some of those impostors out there in shopping centres who behave appallingly I believe. They're only in it for the money.

Me: Do you find that a bit hypocritical Santa considering you are indeed working in a shopping centre?

Santa: No, I don't find that hypocritical. I am the Santa. I choose a different shopping centre every year because I like to keep my finger on the pulse. I'm not just stuck up the North Pole all the time. I know what's going on. If I don't have kids on my knee every year, how am I gonna know what's new and current?

Me: True dat. Preach. Okay, so what is the weirdest present a kid has ever asked for?

Santa: Ooh, now kids ask for so many different things. I have to say the weirdest present would be a smoothie.

Me: A smoothie?

Santa: Yep, a smoothie.

Me: Any particular flavour?

Santa: They wanted a very berry delight. It was easy enough to fulfil that wish.

Me: Well I have to say, that does sound enticing.

Santa: Would you ever ask Santa for one?

Me: Probably not. I'd just go straight for the parentals.

Santa: Right, that's probably what this child should've done, but I was very happy to oblige. It was easy enough to do.

Me: Moving on Santa. Would you and Mrs Claus consider adopting a child?

Santa: No. We've talked about this on many occasions, but we are the world's universal parents. We consider ourselves the parent of every child. So to adopt one single child would just seem wrong. We don't need to have our own children.

Me: Do you feel bad that you only get to see your universal children once a year?

Santa: We don't visit the children once a year, we monitor those children every single day of every year. That's what people don't realise, we're always on the case.

Me: Ah, thank you for this alternative insight Santa. Now, how many gingerbread cookies do you and the elves go through every Christmas?

Santa: Well, we try to cut down at Christmas. I personally try to keep it to about 60 a day during the Christmas season.

Me: Do you find that difficult?

Santa: I do. I really, really do. At other times of the year, it can be up to around 120.

Me: Double!

Santa: Yes, I know. But I've got to be match fit at Christmas. It's my peak season.

Me: So, just wondering, is there a height limit for your elves?

Santa: Look, we tried to introduce a height limit a few years ago, because there's a really low hanging bar on the sleigh, and sometimes they just kept bashing into it and hitting their heads.

Me: Occupational health and safety, am I right Santa?

Santa: You're right. And those little people, they move faster. So I thought, keep it little, keep it fast. That's my motto. But we got into a little bit of trouble with the discrimination people, so we're no longer allowed to keep them out. We're no longer classed as a special needs workplace, so we can't get any kind of exemption. On reflection, I think that's fair enough. No, I'm a man all for equal opportunities. Elves of all heights. Have you seen the movie 'Elf'?

Me: Yes, in fact I spoke about it on my blog.

Santa: Since Buddy the Elf, that really did change my view.

Me: I'm with you there Santa. So, are there any special skills needed to be Santa?

Santa: There's no job description for Santa, because I just am Santa. It's like there's no job description for the queen. You're just born for this role. The only things are that you need to be jolly, that's very important. You need to be patient, and you need to develop a game face. Do you know what I mean by a game face?

Me: Please elaborate Santa.

Santa: Well when people say stupid things and ask for stupid things like very berry delight smoothies, you've got to be able to put on a poker face and just respond as though they've asked for the most normal thing in the world.

Me: Are you familiar with the song by Lady Gaga?

Santa: Poker Face, yes I am familiar with that.

Me: Is it your mantra?

Santa: Often, it is. I mean, I've given many presents to Gaga in my time, back when she was Baby Gaga. I knew her before she was a lady.

Me: Well, thank you for sharing that with us. Just wondering, how much government money was used to build the North Pole?

Santa: Absolutely none. The North Pole is a naturally occurring phenomenon, it is apart of the polar cap. As for my home and my workshop, I finance that. The time I don't spend in the sleigh and building the toys, I am CEO of SC enterprises, which is a charitable non-profit organisation. All of the money used to build the workshop is donated.

Me: Awesome, you seem like a lovely person Santa. So, do you feel that you compete with the other guardians, such as the Easter Bunny or Mother Nature?

Santa: Why would we compete? We're on completely different territories. I'm just not a competitive sort of person, I'm really not.

Me: So there's no rivalry with Jack Frost like there is in the Santa Claus movies?

Santa: No, no. However, if Jack Frost were really evil, that would be different. I will always fight the forces of evil. I am unapologetic in fighting evil.

Me: Okay, how do you get photo ready?

Santa: That's a constant problem, because believe it or not, I don't like having my photo taken. It's a little bit of an occupational hazard. I just look at photos and think 'double chin'. It's all I can see. We all have our human foibles, don't we. It's taken me many years to come to terms with it, but when you see the look on the little kids' faces, I just think that it's not about me.

Me: Interesting. Now, just wondering, is Rudolph hated by the other reindeers?

Santa: Reindeers don't hate. Occasionally, they will laugh and call people names . . .

Me: Like pinochio.

Santa: Exactly. And sometimes, they won't let people join in their games . . .

Me: Like monopoly.

Santa: Yes, that's right. But after that incident some time ago, I've kind of stamped that out. They learnt from that, they really did. We have a culture of niceness, a reindeer culture of niceness. Basically it's just all reindeer love.

Me: Everyone loves them some Rudolph, and Rudolph loves him some other reindeer. How beautiful. Final question, what do you do in your down time?

Santa: Well for a lot of it I sleep, and as I said before, I run my charity SC enterprises. When we can, me and the mrs like to get away. We like to head to the Great Barrier Reef for a bit of snorkelling.

Me: Oh, so you're a fan of Australia?

Santa: Love, love, love Australia. Great country. In fact, apart from New Zealand, that's where I start my Christmas run. It's one of the first places I get to. You know, I love the sun. I love to feel the sun melt the icicles in my beard, it's just fabulous. And the reindeers love it as well.

Me: Well that seems to be the end Santa. Thank you for taking time out of your busy Christmas schedule.

Santa: Don't worry, I've got my elves going up and down the aisle handing out candy canes to placate the kids while I'm talking to you.

Me: Phew. Anyway, thank you Santa. Good luck on the 25th!

Santa: Anytime.



And that's officially the end of the massive interview. How cool was that Santa? I was expecting yes and no answers for every question, but this guy full on went into detail. He was amazeballs. Who knows, maybe he actually was Santa (or probably not). Merry Blogmas! Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx

Worst Photoshop Fails

Hello my readers! Today, I'm going to be providing you with a post that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas (as promised). Plus, it's probably going to be a massive self esteem booster for once. Yay!

Take a look at some of the most epic photoshop fails in magazines and photoshoots to date. From missing limbs to disproportionate bodies, these are all looking pretty cray. Because these are just some of the most horrendous editing mistakes I've ever seen, I thought I'd add in a few reaction gifs as well (let's get real, who doesn't love them?). Pleasantries complete, let's get into it . . .

1. 

I guess at first glance, this would just look like a lovely picture of Brangelina and their crew of little foreign, adopted children. But oh no, there's more. As the massive red circle and caption indicates, it seems that either something went wrong with the photoshopping, or that small child has an evil twin following it around everywhere it goes. I think I have a gif to sum up exactly how you'll be feeling right now after spotting the creepy doppelgänger.

2. 

Take a quick look and what do you see? Beyonce waving to millions of her adoring fans. However, upon closer inspection, it seems that the princess of pop has an extra arm coming out from behind. I seriously hope this is a major photoshop mistake, because if not, she's just been hiding that extra arm back there for years, and that's all kinds of wrong. In the words of the diva herself . . .

3. 

This one's quite hard to spot at first. When you look at it briefly, it just looks like another totes inappropes photo of Mariah Carey wearing next to nothing. However, when you take a closer look, it seems that we've found a deformity no doctor has come across before: Mariah Carey's left hand is freakishly large. It's weird, no one's noticed till now. Or alternatively, there was a major photoshop stuff up. I guess we'll never know the truth. 

4. 

This picture doesn't even need that obnoxious red arrow pointing out the editing mistake, it's kind of glaringly obvious. Either that girl's arms are super weird and totally disproportionate, or someone forgot to slim them down with the rest of her body. It's a toss up as to which one is correct. Who knows, maybe she's just done heaps of weight lifting and forgotten to pump up the rest of her body . . . or the person in charge of editing this photo is visually impaired.

5. 

If there were no arrow there pointing out the error, it would still be rather obvious that part of Mandy Moore's head has gone missing. Don't you hate when in the middle of a performance, a piece of your body just disappears? Happens all the time, right? Either that, or the person editing this went a little overboard with the snipping tool. 

6. 

As Amy Winehouse seems rather alive in this photo, you can tell that this magazine article was from a while ago. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that Amy seems to be clutching onto a hand that doesn't belong to a body. The caption in the right hand upper corner reads 'Amy was bizarre as ever last night'. Well yeah, if she was carting around a random hand, that would be pretty bizarre. Either that, or the person she was holding hands with wasn't worthy of being published in the magazine in the eyes of the editor.

 

7. 

At first glance, you don't even notice the error because now, all you can think is 'oh my God Miley looks normal, how did that happen?'. But after you get over the initial shock of fetus Miley, you realise that she has 3 hands (the large red circles pointing out the mistake also help). Perhaps we've finally stumbled upon the explanation for Miley's crayness: she's trying to distract us with her outrageous actions so that we don't discover the truth about her multiple hands. This is also the reason why her many relationships have failed miserably. Or, perhaps she's just naturally gone cray, and this magazine editor copy and pasted one too many times. 

That's the end of this non-Christmassy, self esteem boosting post. Next time you're flicking through a magazine, I urge you to look carefully at all of the photos for some horrendous mistakes, or never before discovered celebrity birth defects. Til' next time . . .

Annabel xx