Hello again readers, and WELCOME TO 2017! Yes, I am super delayed in welcoming in the new year, but I plan to nip that in the bud, and take advantage of the fact that I'm no longer a high school student completing the HSC by posting a lot more frequently. To be honest, my plan was to kick off the new year with a round up of some of the best memes of 2016 (a la Dan Howell), but I was literally so over everything that happened last year that I couldn't bring myself to write it (also I'm incredibly lazy, so there's that). Instead, I thought, why not immerse myself in the 2017 awards season right off the bat and critique some of the best and worst of the red carpet fashion at this year's Golden Globes? If you missed it, the show started off with literally one of the most epic openings ever, chock full of movie and TV show references courtesy of host Jimmy Fallon (which you can watch here), a contained a whole lot of heartfelt and crazy amazing celebrity speeches. However, I'm not talking about anything of substance today, because who wants to discuss what actors said or did when we can just judge them based on what they wore? My feminist self is compelled to include a disclaimer that I am obviously actually kidding. No, the real reason I'm talking about the fashion is because I'm trash and can't be bothered to do a full length round up, so you'll have to settle for this. Anyway, intro complete, here are my fashion picks . . .
Kristen Bell slayed so hard on the carpet at the Golden Globes this year that I can't even deal. Her dress kind of fuses 80's outerwear with funky modern evening wear, and while it's slightly unconventional, I have to say, it totally works. This black sparkly number is honestly goals, and despite the fact that she wasn't even nominated, Kristen really went above and beyond to steal the show. Massive kudos to her!
Can we all just take a moment to come to terms with the fact that Reese Witherspoon is 40? 40?!? I'm 18 years old and she literally looks younger than me! Honestly, how is that even possible? Anyway, I digress. She looked amazing at the Golden Globes, and not just because she looks 20 years younger than she actually is, but because she totally brought her A game to the carpet this year. Yellow is a hard colour to wear well, but she 100% nailed it by picking a sorbet-y shade and a dress that's cut is all kinds of cute. Plus, did I mention the woman doesn't age? All in all, a definite winner.
I would be lying if I said I knew who this woman is (even after a brief Google search), but what I do know is that Naomie was literal goals on this year's Golden Globes carpet. She obviously felt the need to dress thematically and look as much like an actual Golden Globe award as possible to compensate for the fact that she wasn't nominated for one, and that certainly paid off. She looks like an elegant, fiery mermaid and I absolutely love it. Hats off to Naomie!
I guess in some ways the pressure was on this year for Brie Larson, because in 2016 she not only slayed the awards season by winning a Golden Globe and an Oscar like it was no big deal, but her red carpet fashion game was equally as strong. However, I am pleased to say that in 2017, Brie has not let us down. She looked absolutely amazing, with a killer dress, 20's bombshell inspired hair and perfect make-up, I mean, what else could you ask for? Plus, I love that she literally didn't pose at all but just stood there and smiled, because she knew that she looked fabulous enough to drop the gimmick and stand and slay. Honestly, red carpet goals.
Emma Stone's fashion game is often on point, and the Golden Globes was absolutely no different. She looked so pretty and elegant and amazing that I once again cannot handle it, and I love that she low key dressed in keeping with her film 'La La Land''s title track 'City of Stars' (whether it was intentional or not). Her absolute slayage on the red carpet is totally complemented by the fact that she won the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy Film, so I'd pretty much say she stole the entire night. Overall, literal perfection.
Sarah Jessica Parker
I seriously don't even know where to begin. Sarah Jessica Parker, what the hell? Why are you wearing a wedding dress from an op-shop, and more importantly, why didn't you repair the fabric on the shoulders, which has obviously been ripped off? This look is a literal mess, and I'm sorry, but what is going on with your hair? At first I thought the only possible explanation was that it was some sort of Princess Leia reference to honour Carrie Fisher's memory, but apparently, it was an ode to the hairstyle her mother had on her wedding day. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Here's the thing Sarah Jessica Parker, 1) Your mother probably got married a super long time ago, which means you were always bound to look outdated and weird, and 2) What would posses you to recreate how your mother looked on her wedding day? That's kinda odd, and the Golden Globes is definitely not the setting, especially if you're a nominee and are therefore guaranteed screen time. I'm sorry, but I literally like nothing about this.
Remember how I said it's hard to pull off yellow? Well folks, here's a prime example of how not to wear it. I'm super sorry Natalie Portman because I know that you're hella talented, but this dress really just doesn't work. I read somewhere that it was apparently an ode to Jackie Kennedy, but if we've learned anything from the fashion disaster that was Sarah Jessica Parker's 2017 Golden Globes look, it's that paying homage to anything and anyone on the red carpet is usually not a good idea, even if you portrayed her in your most recent film. I understand that she's pregnant, and that finding fashionable maternity wear is a difficult feat, but this is not how to do it. An unflatteringly oversized, mustard yellow sack of a caftan is never a good idea, let alone a good choice to wear to an awards show. On the plus side, her hair and make up look super nice, but unfortunately that's not enough to save this look. Sorry Natalie, I'm sure you'll slay next time!
I am all for embracing inner youth and frivolity through fashion, but I'm sorry Felicity Jones, this is just a step too far. It's one thing to give off a youthful aura in what you choose to wear, however if you look like a 6 year old whose lost a fight against a cotton candy machine, then something's very wrong. That is unfortunately the case here. The dress is a strange mix between super young and sickeningly sweet due to the overwhelming pink tulle, and homely 16th century matron because of the relatively high neck and black detailing. Her hair and make-up are okay I guess, but to be honest I haven't really been given the opportunity to notice. Pretty much nothing goes, and it's all just too much. Better luck next time Felicity.
I honestly don't even know. Why Anna? Why? Why would you wear a terribly unflattering green sack to the Golden Globes? She literally looks like a poorly dressed swamp monster. The whole one shoulder thing kinda made it look like she was going for an Ancient Greek inspired look like those funky women in Hercules, but if that was her aim, I'm sad to say that she certainly did not reach it. The super harsh slicked back hair really doesn't help matters either, and overall, this look is very much a failure. Hopefully next awards show things turn out better for her.
'The Crown' might've been a Golden Globes top contender this year, but Claire Foy's outfit choice certainly was not. This dress just makes me feel really sad and uncomfortable. She low key looks like she dresses up as a Disney princess for a living, but not a legit professional one, one of the dodgy copyright free rip offs you see in Times Square who've clearly purchased their costume from the closest $2 store. I have to say, kitting yourself from head to toe in sequins above the age of 8 is certainly a fashion risk, however not one that has paid off for her. The fact that it's that weird gross shade between pale pink and hot pink and has pirate-esque puffy sleeves really just makes things worse, and is really what tops off this cringe-worthy outfit. On the plus side, at least in this picture her horrible dress seems be making her strangely happy, so I guess to each their own.
And that's about all I have for you! Do you agree with my best and worst dressed candidates or think that I have no taste whatsoever? Whatever the answer, just try and overlook the fact that I've posted this literally over three weeks since the original awards show took place. Til' next time . . .